Reality.

Growing up boys and girls are taught such horribly unrealistic expectations of how women should be. Every tv show or movie I've ever seen the women are "perfect". It's not fair that they're setting us all up for disappointment when we're older! They only eat a little bit, they don't fart, pretty sure they don't poop for that matter, they go to sleep and don't snore and they wake up looking like a million bucks. Well, thankfully I've got a wonderful husband that doesn't subscribe to that bologna. When we first started dating and living together, I was stuck somewhere between "I know tv is full of crap, I'm a real girl" and "omg, don't let him see that I'm real". Now, 8 years later, I get to laugh at all that false advertisement for women.

Boys (and girls), let me tell you how it is. Women eat...and some of us eat a lot (btw, it's okay to like big girls...more cushion for the pushin' and all that jazz lol, but that's a blog for another day) and we don't eat just salads...get us ice cream for dessert dammit! After we eat all that delicious food, we're going to have to poop...and some of us like to read while we do that, so it could be a while :D. Along those lines, we fart too...and not every time the dog or kids fart is it actually the dog or kids...have fun trying to figure out which is which. When I go to sleep, I REALLY sleep...that means I toss and turn, sometimes I talk, yell or sing, and I always snore. No really, I snore like a dude. Sorry, it's genetic, blame my parents...and those stupid snore strips so don't work. When we wake up, we don't look like we just got done with a photo shoot complete with lip gloss and fresh curls in our hair. Ever hear the term "rat's nest" yeah, that's what hair tends to look like...it's like those "frizzy hair" Garnier Fructis commercials. Sometimes we look like a raccoon because our mascara has smudged underneath our eyes. That smudge of white crust on my chin? Oh yeah...we drool too. We steal your razor to shave our legs...when we decide to shave our legs. Even the skinniest girl has cellulite and stretch marks. Our boobs are real (unless they aren't which is a different story) and they sag a little (if yours don't, I don't care, just nod and agree with me!). And we sweat...some of us more than others...some of us sweat just walking around the mall...again, not one of those things we can control (I have considered getting Botox injections into my armpits lol).

All of that being said, we're all goddesses in our own right(and you need to tell us every chance you get how beautiful we are). We'll scratch your back, make you dinner, wash your clothes, listen to you rant about your fantasy football team and love you.

To my hubby: thanks for accepting my fat, farting, snoring, Lifetime movie watching, losing my mind, not cleaning the house ass. I love you long time. <3