It's the Final Countdown!

Well, I did it. I made it all the way through the hoops I needed to jump through...7 months worth. Now, here I am, less than 24 hours away from surgery. I'm scared. I'm excited. I'm ready.

 

The past couple weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. At one point, I broke down in tears. There is a very small chance of death associated with this surgery and my risk is a little higher because I wasn't told soon enough to stop a medication. So one night I set out to write my children a letter, in case something happens to me. I wasn't able to get through it. I lost it. The thought of leaving my children motherless and my husband to raise them alone terrifies me beyond belief. It literally hurts my heart to think of it. Thankfully, there is much they can do to prevent anything happening. After that breakdown, I am now at peace. I am ready for the change. Ready to be the new me. It's not going to be an easy ride, but it's going to be worth it. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

 

 

 

If anything DOES happen, those that are close to me, please stay in touch with Jim and the kids. When they miss me, tell them I'm in heaving watching over them and all of the stuff kids need to hear to not be totally broken. When they turn 21, get them drunk and tell them of the stupid shit I did when I was young (but only the good stuff, let my demons die with me). When they get married, tell them of my wedding day. When they have children, tell them how much I love them and how I was looking forward to being an awesome grandma.

When Jim finds a new girl, make sure she's not someone I will go poltergeist on and chase around with a butcher knife. Make sure she's suitable to be a mom to my kids. Remind Jim that he'll never be able to replace me. (Okay, I might just hate the thought of another woman all up in my business..so sue me lol.)

I'm counting on things being fine, but I just want to cover my bases...just in case. :)

 

 

Jim and Mom, thank you for putting up with all of the crap that lead to this point...and for all of the crap to come. You guys are amazing and I honestly couldn't have done it without you. I love you both so much and I know that I am very lucky to have you by my side.

 

                                     

If you're the praying type, send some prayers my way...or just some good ju ju. Soon enough, I'll be back on my feet and updating how things went and then sharing pictures of the amazing shrinking Jenny! See ya later taters!