I'm the better friend.

Yesterday was a pretty craptastic day for me, complete with mental breakdown. So, when Jim got home, I was ready to go to my friend's (Leticia) thirty one party and forget about my woes. After the party, a different friend (Sara) asks if we want to go do karaoke. Sure, sounds fun! So we head out to the bar. On the way, Leticia mentions again how much she hates driving in St. Paul (which is weird, because everyone knows Minneapolis is scary and St. Paul is fine). A few minutes later, she starts chanting "Is this really happening? Is this really happening to me?" Thinking her brain damage is coming out (she has a really bad bout of meningitis a few months ago which resulted in a horrible seizure and we then blamed any odd behavior on that, like good friends do), I'm like "Yes, this IS happening...!?!?" Then I look and there's an ambulance coming up behind us. She's freaking out like "What do I do!?" and decides to get off on the exit right by us...which just so happens to be the exit to Regions hospital...and the ambulance followed us onto the exit. She's freaking out because the guy in front of her won't go faster so we can get out of the way, and we can't pull over. Thankfully we were able to get out of the way and the ambulance turned. But that started out the night's LOL moments. We get to the bar finally...and on the way in we argue over which of us is the better friend.(random, but relevant to the story) So the four of us (Leticia, Sarah, Michelle (Sarah's friend) and myself) are sitting at the table and have a shot and start laughing at something. That's when the real action began... all of a sudden Leticia is puking all over the table (note, I'm laughing hysterically as I type this). I hop up and try to help her, but it's not stopping...and neither is my laughter.

Sara and Michelle are laughing and then Sara starts puking all over too!! I'm suddenly reminded of the scene from "Stand By Me", if you know what I'm talking about, you're laughing too. Sara takes off out onto the patio and Leticia (who finally stops barfing but is COVERED in it) runs to the bathroom. I grab up all of the purses and jackets and explain to the waitress that my friend isn't drunk, she choked on her shot. I get to the bathroom and give Leticia my shirt...and officially make myself the better friend, because I literally gave her the shirt off my back. Oh snap. So she comes out of the bathroom stall and says "I fucking pissed my pants." OMG!!! I can't believe this is actually happening. It's probably the funniest night of my life. I've forgotten all about the bs that happened earlier in the day. Thank you girls, for puking all over the place and wetting yourselves. And just remember,

So now, we're headed home and we're laughing about everything and Leticia asks what I was going to sing. I was going to sing "Ironic" by Alanis. I shit you not, the song on the radio wraps up and on comes "Ironic". It was the most ironic moment ever.

Thank you universe for sharing last night with me. :)

The Fat Year.

This morning Eoghan had a doctor's appointment and afterward, on the way to school, we stopped at Burger King for some breakfast. The BK we went to is one that I worked at a couple times as a teenager, and I was there my senior year of high school (10 years ago). One of my coworkers was a woman I grew up with as a neighbor and we reconnected when I started working at the BK. So this morning, we go through the drive through, and the woman taking my order was the same lady from years before! I didn't say anything because if she didn't remember me, I didn't want it to be awkward lol. She took my money and when she came back to the window she asked "Are you the Jenny that used to live across the street and work here?" Yup, it's me. How goes it? I couldn't believe she recognized me. I've become a grown up and mom and gained a billion pounds in the past 10 years. She said I still look the same. Ha! Well, as my Southern friend says "Bless her heart"! (and not in the bad way lol.) This was then:

I was so cute and young! And this now:

Gross. I'm fat and old with a bad haircut. I have decided to dub last year "The fat year". This year will be "reinvention year". I'm going to get my fat ass in gear and make myself look and feel my age. I'm not even 30 yet, I shouldn't feel this way. Also, I'm done aging. I don't think I should be forced to get any older. Anybody else having a quarter life crisis??

The day from hell.

Remember last night when I tried to psych myself up that I could handle a sick kid? Yeah, more like psyched out. This day was doomed from the start lol. Just because I want to bitch it out, I'm going to share with you the crap that has happened today. *Fiona has a sleep terror first thing this morning, but goes back to bed. *Upon waking, she wants to watch "SpongeBob" but has to take some medicine before she can. We fought for 30 minutes until she caved and took the medicine. *I ask if she wants a popsicle, she says "Yes". What color? "Purple." So I grab a purple popsicle. She opens it and screams that it's brown. It's not brown, it's fucking purple. Fit continues for 10 minutes.

*She finds a mini bottle of root beer that was frozen in the car yesterday and I brought it in over night to thaw. I open it and it starts fizzing all over the place and won't stop. I grab a cup and pour the pop into it and Fiona starts freaking out because she wants it in the bottle. OMG. So I get a funnel and pour the pop back into the bottle, but now the ice is settled at the top and she can't get any pop out. I tell her to tip it up further to get the pop out...so she pours it on the floor. *A few minutes later, she has a different cup and she pours her pop into the cup...then decides she wants it back in the bottle...so she pours the cup into the bottle...except not in the bottle...it's all over the fucking floor and shoes. This is the moment I start to cry. *Later, I give Fi a hard boiled egg. She eats the white part and when I look over, she's throwing the yolk onto the floor. As I'm telling her to pick it up, SHE STEPS ON IT! WTF?!?!? By this point she's pissed at me for making her pick up her messes and calls me a "Meany". *My sister arrives to watch the little monster so I can go to the grocery store and get a few minutes of quiet. I do my shopping and as I'm on the road home, I realize I forgot an ingredient for dinner. *I get home with the groceries and as I'm bringing them in, a handle rips off the bag sending it crashing to the ground and spilling groceries all over the ground. *I get in and find out Fiona has been calling Abby "Bonnie" all day...which was hilarious. :) *Fiona wants some juice, so I pour her a small glass...she does the "look at your watch with a glass of juice in your hand and spill said juice all over the fucking floor.

That's been my day so far....it's only 3:35 and there are several hours left to go. I am glad there's no wine in the house...today is the day I would have a mid day glass.

RSV

Fiona started getting sick on Friday and by Saturday she was down for the count. She had a horrible cough and gnarly sounding lungs. Her nose was runny and she started running a pretty good fever. We immediately started alternating Tylenol and Ibuprofen to keep any seizure episodes at bay. Sunday she seemed to be feeling a little better, but still very ill. (A huge thank you to my parents for keeping Lily and Eoghan over night so I can focus on my poor little one! Love you guys!) It's now Monday and she's still running a fever in addition to all of the other symptoms and has started breaking out with fever blisters all over her mouth.

We decided enough was enough and made a doctor's appointment. On the way in to see the doc, I needed gas...and did you know it's the coldest flipping day of the year?!? So I'm getting gas and Fiona is screaming so loud that everyone pumping gas could hear her! Instead of going to the clinic, we went to the emergency room. Wouldn't you know it, as soon as we get there, she's suddenly fine! She's twirling around the ER, schmoozing every person she comes in contact with.

We get back to see the doctor and I have to convince them she really was sick before we got there!! After checking her out, the doc decides she wants to get a chest x-ray and strep culture. No strep, x-ray showed some streaks in the lungs, but not pneumonia. She ordered a nebulizer treatment and some Tylenol. Before the neb got to us, Fiona fell asleep in my arms. I mean knocked out. Of course, the nurse comes in and wants me to wake her up. I thought maybe she'd sleep through it, but instead she freaked out and it threw her into a sleep terror. I'm talking freaking the hell out, super human strength, two grown women trying to hold her down. Then once that was done, we had to do it again to give her the Tylenol. So now Fi is having one hell of an episode...freaking out, crying, screaming. The doc saw what was going on and we discussed her having them the past few months. (My friends on FB probably remember the seizure or night terror discussion the last month in November?) She suggested that I talk to our regular doc because it's gone on for so long...there's a step in the right direction there AND a medical professional also witnessed it happening. Anywho, after a good half hour Fiona finally calms down enough to take some steroid to help with the inflammation in her lungs. She goes to sleep and sleeps hard while her fever starts creeping back up. The doc waited and watched and was worried. The nurse came back in and we woke Fi up to get a sample to test for flu (which I found out that you test snot that you suck out of the child's nose with this crazy get up...NASTY! I about threw up all over Fiona lol). Fiona was now awake and functioning at her mostly normal level. By this point, I'd been at the hospital for 6 hours and I hadn't eaten all day. I was tired, hungry and grumpy...I had to page the nurse station for someone to bring in our discharge papers after waiting another 45 minutes. Finally we're out of there (with after care instructions and a nebulizer and meds and a promise from the doc to call as soon as she got the test results back for the flu) and headed to my mom's to pick up the other kids, where I get the call that Fiona doesn't have flu, she has RSV! I'm a little relieved, since she's out of the age range for real danger, as opposed to the flu where so many have died already this flu season including kids.

We're now home and Fiona had another neb treatment, which is basically like giving a kid crack. She can't sleep because she's wired...and I'm ready to pass out. It's been a truly exhausting weekend. Fortunately, I've been through this crap before with Lily and Eoghan...like I told my friend...If I can handle 2 children under age 2 with RSV, I can handle little Fiona. :)

Good luck to everyone...keep your family healthy!!

Pinteresting...

I have to ask...what's better than having a friend? Having a friend that loves to craft as much as you do!! At Christmas time, my home slice Leticia and I started making gifts for teachers, friends and family. We were crafting beasts. It was pretty epic. Now that the holidays are over, we needed something else to do. She asked if I was on Pinterest. Psh, no. I don't do Pinterest. I'm not going to get sucked in like everyone else. Then I went onto it...and was all like:

Dammit! I've been sucked in! I am in love. I'm thinking back to all of the bad ass parties I could have had (who else wishes they could have a redo wedding now that they have Pinterest!?!?), the things I could have made, the organization I could have had. I then laugh because, we all know how it goes:

Because:

I've started a few different projects that I saw on there, and I can't wait to move so I can get them wrapped up....and then start new projects. I was addicted to crafts before and never had time to do them...but now that I have someone to do them with, I make time...and when there's wine it's even better. Know how I know? Because I found a few memes on the internet agreeing with me. :D

So now that I've started this adventure, I can't seem to stop thinking about it. I'm sitting in the car, waiting in line, bored, not bored, thought of something to look up...There's a Pinterest app for that! THANK YOU PINTEREST!!! lol, yes I'm addicted. And now that I am:

So basically, what I was trying to say with this post is that you should FOLLOW ME!! Happy pinning ya'll!

Dirty little secret. (TMI, you've been warned.)

I'm a smoker. There. It's out there. My dirty little secret. Since I was a teenager, I've smoked on and off...quit cold turkey while pregnant though nursing, no problem. Start back up, quit again. About a year ago I started smoking again. Just while I was out and drinking...and then, of course, when I wasn't drinking. It's stupid and bad for you and gross... and most of all, it's embarrassing for me. I don't want anybody to know that I do it...I want to quit! But, it's hard. Part of me actually enjoys it, as sick as it sounds, but most of me hates it. I hate smelling like cigarettes. I hate spending money on them. I hate what it does to my body. I hate being such a hypocrite. I tell my kids all the time how disgusting it is and why they should never, ever smoke. I have never, EVER smoked in front of them. I know that all it takes is one time of seeing their parent smoke and it will be game over. Monkey see, monkey do. Jim has always hated that I smoke, despite the fact that when we met, I was a smoker. I promised him I was going to quit. I've quit, cold turkey several times...but this go round, it's not as easy. I want him to understand what I'm going through, but I don't think he'll ever understand fully, since he's never been a smoker. Please, be patient with me...I can do this. Right now, we're in the middle of the most stressful time of our lives (maybe it's just me, but whatever). I've been trying, really trying...but it's so hard. I've been so stressed out that my body started a period mid cycle. It freaked me the fuck out, to say the least. We're nearing the end of our foreclosure period, we finally found a place to live and they accepted us as renters (thank you Universe for helping a sister out!), but we're not sure how we're going to afford it, then there's the every day stress of life and I haven't been on my meds for a few months...I'm trying to be healthier...I'm trying to quit drinking pop, trying to quit smoking. I've made myself a deal. I will survive losing our house and the big move...I will get through packing and getting rid of things...and once we are settled in, I will be done. I will get any help I need with my anxiety (meds, therapy, whatever needs doing), and I will quit smoking. I need to be honest with myself, and not beat myself up. I do it enough over many other things in my life. What I ask of my friends and family...when I announce that I have quit for good...do not give me a cigarette, even if I beg. Support me. Give me a piece of gum...a carrot...a crack upside the head...but don't give me a cigarette. Please, don't judge me for my vice...it's hard for me to even write this...the end is near, and I will no longer have that guilt weighing my heart down.