Idiot drivers.

While driving home today, I encountered a moron that apparently missed "blinker" day in driver's ed. It made me think of all the eff tards that are out there can't drive for crap. It's funny, because you can tell if a person is a bad driver by how they push their cart in the grocery store. Seriously, grocery shopping is kinda like driving...I always stop at the end of an aisle and inch my way around the corner because I don't want to cut anyone off. Those exiting a lane have to yield...you do NOT have the right of way. I understand road (and shopping) rage...thankfully I am able to control my homicidal urges on the road better than some *coughmyhusbandcough*...but the day is coming that surely, I will snap and crash into someone that deserves it.



That brings me to my list of "Come On People!!":

*STOP at STOP SIGNS!!! Stop BEFORE the sign...or at the very least stop with the front of your car lined up to the stop sign. Don't stop after the stop sign...it kinda defeats the freaking purpose. People that are actually paying attention see you stopping at the corner, not the stop sign and it scares them (okay, this "them" is really ME) because it doesn't look like you are going to stop at all.

*If the yield sign is facing you, that means that YOU have to yield. Yield means that you have to STOP and WAIT for me to go first because I have the right of way.

*Get off your f*&king phone! Texting while driving is against the law and a very stupid idea. The problem is, you won't kill yourself, you'll kill me or my children, because that is the weird way of the universe. If you are driving like an idiot and I notice that you are talking on the phone and I drive past you yelling at you to "GET OFF YOUR F*&ING PHONE", you are not able to multitask in this way. Hang up and drive.

*Get off of my ass. I'm not one of those people that drives under the speed limit...in fact I usually go 5 miles faster than the speed limit (shh, don't tell my insurance company or the police), so I do not feel bad when you are an idiot going 20 over the limit and don't know how to go the flip around me. This especially pisses me off when there isn't anybody else in the lane next to me. I was here first, YOU switch lanes butthole!!

*USE YOUR BLINKER!! You know, that signal, that signals to me that you are going to turn or get over? Yeah, well, it's not for you...it's for other drivers. When you use that little blinky yellow light, I know that you want to move from your current position on the road and I will either speed up or slow down to allow for that to happen...don't just get that dirty ass look on your face like "Why won't you let me over?!??!?" You're a moron and I hate you...use your blinker.

*Turn down your thumping music. It's so damn annoying when I can feel YOUR bass in MY car. Turn it down and enjoy your music...

*Buckle your children into car seats if they are under the age and size requirements of the law. I call the police on people that do not have their children properly restrained. Too many times I have actually seen people holding infants in their arms while driving. Your children deserve to live...your stupidity and/or laziness should not threaten their lives. And if it's a matter of cost, contact the state. There are programs that will help you get car seats at no cost to you.

If you fail to do these things, I will flip you the bird and/or mutter obscenities and threats at you. Try not to piss me off. :)