Goodbye 2012.

This time of year is so bittersweet. While we get to spend time with friends and family, start fresh and turn a new leaf, it's also the anniversary of the passing of my mother in law. Tomorrow marks the first year without Nana. I've learned over the past year, that it's a lot easier to miss someone when you can't call them anymore. I swear the woman drove me batty with all of her craziness and illness...but I miss how she would call the kids all the time to talk to them. I miss her inappropriate jokes and how she would laugh at them all. I miss playing Boggle and spades. I miss hearing her say "Hi Honey!" I guess it's true...you don't know what you've got until it's gone. RIP Shawnee, we all miss you.

Now we move onto resolutions. I think we can all agree that they suck. How many people actually stick to them? I don't think I ever have.

Talk about setting yourself up for disappointment. So I'm going to resolve to TRY to change the bad habits that I've created. 1) I want to be healthier. That includes eating less processed foods, less crap, less sugar...being more active...living more green...take care of body and mind...and on a family level too. 2) Work on organization and keeping the house cleaner. 3) Work on family rules...make sure they are enforced. Everyone needs to help to keep the family functioning properly. Mama can't do it alone. :)

I'm ready for 2013. I'm ready for a new year to corrupt lol. It will be quite a year for our family. Fiona starts preschool. We will be moving shortly into the new year (no idea where we will be moving...keep your fingers crossed that we can find something). The kids will likely start a new school. Jim and I will celebrate 10 years together. My 10 year high school reunion (and Jim's 20 year). Many birthdays to celebrate. Holidays to plan. New people to meet. So much is going to happen...and I can't wait to experience it. I hope you all have a very happy new year. Thanks for sticking with me through a year of mostly angry and depressing blog posts (I also resolve to make happier posts in 2013!! lol) Please, celebrate responsibly and get a designated driver if you party too hearty. Be safe my friends.

Bah Humbug.

I'm a giant ball of Grumpy Cat AND I'm menstruating. Hormones are out of control and I'm pushed to my fucking limits.

Problem Child.

What do you do when your child refuses to go to school and when they do go, they spend 90% of the day throwing fits, interrupting class, ignoring, threatening and even hitting teachers? Since school started in September, he's gone downhill really fast. The school is getting tired of dealing with him, and I don't blame them. It's a rare day that I DON'T get a phone call about how terribly the day went. When they look at him they see this:

Jim and I met with a woman at Fraser and she told us basically that he doesn't have ADD and he's above average in smarts. I took Eoghan to his first therapy session yesterday. He's got some sort of behavior disorder, sensory integration disorder and high anxiety levels. We came up with some goals to work on, but I'm honestly not optimistic. I get the distinct impression from both the therapist and the behavior specialist at school, that they don't think we're doing anything to fix the problems. Frankly, I'm ready to rip my hair out for sheer frustration. Every day is a struggle. A struggle to get dressed for school in the morning. A struggle to get him onto the bus. Every day we wonder when we're going to get a call home from school. We've tried begging, pleading, demanding, threatening, bribing, punishing bad behavior and rewarding good behavior...nothing works. Last week Eoghan was so unable to control himself and his meltdowns that he spent a couple hours the entire WEEK in his classroom. He refused to eat breakfast or lunch. They're going to get an iep going for him to receive services at school...but until it's all set, we're stuck in a vicious cycle. I'm so frustrated and confused and...well, scared. What if they can't figure out what's going on? What if nothing works? What if he can't ever control himself and spends the rest of his life in trouble? I've been considering homeschooling him to see if that would help. I keep being told "hold off" but, I just see Eoghan getting worse and watching new issues arise. What do you do when your child has anxiety attacks and is depressed? It's heartbreaking. I wish I could fix him and take away his hurt. I guess we just keep swimming and hope that things get figured quickly. In the meantime...I will keep trying. I need some wine. :(

Everything's just black and white I guess.

Today there was a status on my facebook news feed that really offended me... **name protected** brought this to my attention and he is so right! Almost 100% of the children that will be at one of the holiday events for struglling families will be black. The problem is that most of the toys that we have for the kids are of blond hair, blue eyed, white dolls and action heros. These children come from the poorest neighborhoods in Minneapolis where they see black people getting arrested, in gangs, using/selling drugs, etc. These children should have beautiful princess dolls and action heros that are black to play with so they can identify themselves with good role models. We need toys like the frog princess movie which is of a black princess, toys of black police officers, black firefighters, black soldiers, black teachers, black babies, etc. PLEASE order some of these online or pick some up if you see anything like this in the stores! After reading that, I felt because I'm white, the black community can't fix the problems they face. Maybe that's a little over the top...but it really irked me. Every parent has the opportunity to raise their children properly, regardless to color of their skin, how poor they may be or what "hood" they live in. You can live in the crappiest neighborhood in town and you can raise your child to be a respectable person and a successful adult. If you have dope dealers and gang bangers standing on the corners, you can move. You can change the scenery and make it a safer environment to raise your family. Tell your children about the things they're seeing and why they are wrong...Teach your children that they can reach higher and strive for more, EDUCATE them. I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. My Dad was a painter by trade and worked long, hard hours painting everything under the sun. He would come home, change his clothes and head off to another job. My Mom cleaned houses. She cleaned toilets and scrubbed countless floors on her hands and knees. My parents worked hard to provide for their children. We didn't live in big beautiful houses, have new cars, wear expensive clothes or take fancy trips. We were middle class, to say the least. But, my parents tried to make our lives happy and easy. Now I'm grown and have my own family. My husband works at a dead end job (but hey, it's a job!) all day long, making just enough to get us by month to month. I spend the days taking care of our children (I would love to get a job, but I would only bring in enough to pay for daycare), trying to make sure that they are being taught everything they need to know and mold them into good members of society. Now here we are, 5 years later. We're losing our house and have to try to find a place that we can afford. We're getting assistance through the county to help us out. We're not rich, by any means. But we're trying. Our kids many things...but they don't have everything they want. I just want to make sure they have food to eat and toilet paper to wipe their little butts...even that is a struggle sometimes. Later in this thread of comments, was this: "This was not to get the agree-ance of everybody, it was from my own black experience my self. ROle models are always people outside of our hood, our kids only see pimps, drug dealers, gangbangers as their negative mentors, this is sad and wrong. Our black Children need black role models, in their presence, as young kids, as far as them not selling, that's not true, every black mother and father buys their daughters black dolls. It's just the stores only cater to white people, because they can afford any price that the white dolls cost. Most of our people in the hood are poor, we cannot afford costly toys or dolls. Only we know what our kids need. Every race of people has their own, whites have Barbie, Mexicans have Dora and we only have Princess Tianna, so with that said, again we as black people were taught as kids that black was bad and white was good, which today many years after slavery we know was a lie. So now that we know the truth, we must give the truth to our kids of today, and start them off with black is beautiful dolls, which will instill in our daughters that they are beautiful too. As for me I buy only black dolls for my grand daughters and my daughter, I want them to know they are a special and unique race just as beautiful as any other race." So I commented about how it doesn't matter what color you are, where you live or how much you make whether you raise your children to be good people. I'm all for helping people, but people also need to help themselves. Sorry if that's offensive. Sorry if you're so lazy that you can't get off your ass and get a job. Sorry if you're so addicted to drugs that you ditch your family. Sorry if you're so angry about your life that you feel the need to blame white people that your little girl doesn't have "an affordable black doll". This is reverse racism if I ever saw it. But that's okay Jennifer, "It's best to know us before you judge us, and being white is not bad it's between you and god. He loves us all but he hates those who try to judge." Are you fucking kidding me?? Yeah, and you're not full of judgment and hate toward the white man. That's obvious. Where's your concern for the little American Indian girl or the Middle Eastern girl or the little Muslim girl that doesn't have a doll just for them? You are only concerned for yourself. I was then told that I think like the KKK. WOW! Just wow. There are so many things wrong with this persons line of thinking that it makes me sick. Apparently because I disagree with his person, I'm a racist whitey. People born to the ghettos have survived and thrived and become doctors, lawyers, productive members of society. People born into rich homes that have every easy opportunity in life become drug addicted losers. People who are blind and deaf learn to read and communicate. See the common bond? They're people. It doesn't matter what shade of the rainbow their skin is. It's about being a good person...about TRYING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER...ABOUT WANTING MORE FOR YOUR CHILDREN. And p.s. If you can't afford that toy for your child...do what I do, save up. Collecting the change in your pocket every day and putting it away will add up. Don't wait for someone to do it for you, your child deserves more than that.

Craft Night!!

Yesterday, my gal pal and I decided to have a craft day to get some Christmas gifts made. After hitting a couple stores, we brought our loot back to get started. We worked for about 3 hours before I had my fill of trying to get stuff done with kids running amuck. Dinner and bed for the kids and I was back to get my rear in gear.

It's amazing how much of a mess two girls can make lol. We even had power tools!!

I ended up getting 8 Christmas gifts finished and started 3 more. We sat and did crafts for SEVEN HOURS. OMG! Today I feel like I got hit by a bus. My shoulders and neck hurt from concentrating so hard on my projects...my brain hurts from thinking so much...lol. I'm super excited for the next craft night though. So many things I want to make and try out. I'm no Martha Stewart, but I've got skills. :)

Cancer.

I decided this weekend to get some new ink. Okay, so really, I was jealous that Jim went to California, so I wanted to do something awesome too. I went to B Cool tattoo shop to get it done. I've driven past it hundreds of times in the past four years and always thought it looked pretty "hole in the wall, probably pretty ghetto"ish. I was pleasantly surprised. Unlike Rose of No Man's Land tattoo that I went to several months ago, the folks at B Cool greeted us immediately and were VERY reasonable in their prices. I met the guy that was going to do my tat and got to work.

I decided to go with my Cancer Zodiac sign, as it is very much "me". I am very happy with how it turned out.

While I was getting my tat done, we were discussing my horseshoe tattoo and how disappointed I was with how it turned out. He said for $20 more, he'd fix it. SNAP! So he went to town on that...and WOW...it turned out great. Check out the before and after:

I left completely satisfied and will definitely be back for more. I'm looking forward to working with Mr. Dutch to create some new masterpieces.

Bombs away!

Yesterday was the big day. After hours of cleaning and then goes of destroying the house, we set off the "smoker"bombs to kill the lice and fleas. Thankfully my mom came over to help me out... I was lost.

So when Jim got home from work, we set off the canisters and headed out on our 2 hour adventure. We ended up on Wisconsin at a burger king play place...I can think of worse places to spend the time. After that, we went home and started in on the mess. Cleaning, wiping, washing... On the bright side, I cleaned out my cupboards and organized them!

Yesterday was also the final lice treatment. Lily and Fiona were both lice free!! After the massive after bomb clean up, I went to my mom's house to have her treat NY hair. We used lice MD, which I had highly recommended to me. so I sat for an hour to make sure it grooved just right and spent over an hour having my hair sectioned and combed thorough. All clear. Mom and I didn't get done until 1 am. I'm so done with the late nights this crap has caused. Ready for a nap today.

Today I get to clean some more and do a billion loads of dishes and laundry. But to get a mental break, we're going to the zoo later. Can't ask for nicer weather this time of year.

I want to end this entry by saying thank you to everyone who has helped me out during this mess. Whether or was combing my hair, giving advice, suggesting treatments or just giving me a shoulder to cry on...you are all appreciated. It was so nice to know I wasn't alone. I now declare that chapter of my life CLOSED. :D

Why hide?

After having someone anonymously post a comment on my last blog, that is obviously somebody I know, I am not thrilled. You are obviously not a friend if you can't even come out and say something honestly, without hiding behind "Anonymous". I honestly don't think I would be this pissed if you had just come out and ask me instead of going about it the way you did. This way makes it sound like you're afraid of offending me or something. Well, this way of going about it did offend me. I feel like I was being accused...of something. And it's not just me that took it that way. If you you were any sort of a friend, you would have offered a helping hand instead of criticizing my general public ethic. Instead of acting like I'm intentionally spreading Tuberculosis...read my blog

and see that I've been busting my ass to get things under control. Now that I've defended myself, I leave you with this:

Stressing to the max.

Ever wonder what you did that was so bad that the universe decided to punish you? We've been battling head lice which is hard enough...then the other day, I had a giant flea crawl from the dog onto my arm. So now we've got two different parasites infesting our home (on top of the 3 kids :p). How the hell did we go from no bugs to this? It's bad enough with lice, but the fleas might just be worse...those suckers JUMP! *shudder* So we had to go get tons of flea killing products...and now I have to find something to do with the cat and dog for 2 1/2 hours one day so we can bomb the house. Is it bad that I kinda wish we were really bombing the house??

Speaking of houses...we're getting closer and closer to moving day. The foreclosure is final and we have to be out by March 11th, and we have no leads on a place to live. We can't afford more than $900 for a 3 bedroom...which is not a lot of money to work with. Basically all I can find are crappy places in bad neighborhoods. There's no way I'm moving my kids somewhere that isn't safe, in the ghetto where I can't feel safe either. Did I mention that moving to Minneapolis terrifies me? It's hard to wait to look, but we're going to have to stop looking until January. It's really hard not knowing what's next. Having pets sucks too because it's going to be an added cost for rent every month. With everything going on I had a weak moment and considered getting rid of the cat and dog. I could never do it though. They're my fur babies, and they're best friends. Lily and Eoghan got their report cards this week. Eoghan is so very smart, but can't control himself to save his life. Every day he has to take breaks, and a couple times a week he has full out fits where we can't get him to calm down for hours. Then there's Lily who is well behaved and popular, but not the brightest bulb in the shed. She's not really stupid, but she doesn't apply herself at all. "Gee, that's too hard, I can't do it...duuuurrrrr..." So now when school gets back in session, I have to look into getting her a tutor. Just another thing to add to my list of things to do. The kids have been on break from school for a week now and I'm ready to punch myself in the face. Because we've got bugs, I can't let them go anywhere or have anyone over here, so we've been stuck with each other.

Jim's birthday was the other day and he got himself the new game..."Black Ops" or something like that. Let me just say, watching somebody play video games is SO BORING! It's also super frustrating when the person playing is getting really grumpy and yelling at everything because the game isn't going as planned. I love you dearly, but you really need to pop some Xanax before you play. Maybe I should too lol. That being said HOLY EXPENSIVE! The game itself is stupid pricey, but the equipment to play is EVEN MORE than the game. WTH!? Now I have two boys in the house that are into playing and I can see that it will get much more expensive as the years go on.

One bright side I created a chore game for the kids...We decorated a jar and I put slips of paper that have a chore and points earned for completing the chore...plus there are random "+1 and -1 point" cards to keep it game like. We keep track of their points and every few turns, I have them do the math to add up their points. Each point is worth a penny. So they get some money to buy their own toys and I've got a clean house. Hell yes. Lily was saving up for a walking puppy toy and Eoghan was saving up for more Sky Landers guys. They both caved early and ended up buying their own happy meals and a small toy from walmart. Works for me! haha. There's more I could rant about, but I'll save it for another blog. Until next time. :)

The "L" Word.

Well, our time has come. We've caught the dreaded LICE. We've made it until until Lily's 2nd grade year before it hit. I should be grateful...and I am...but right now, after a full week of dozens of lice treatments, I'm just frustrated. It started out that Lily was exposed pretty extensively to lice...and for a couple weeks afterwards, we were watching and praying it would skip us...then last Monday morning she said her head was itching. So, I looked...and saw a GIANT bug on her hair. I almost puked on her. I don't handle bugs well. That began our journey of eradicating the enemy. We treated with Nix, coated hair in mayonnaise and let it sit for 4 hours, combed and combed and combed with olive and baby oil. Then I took bedding and toys and have been washing and drying non stop, using the steamer to clean everything else, spraying stuff with furniture spray and spraying ourselves with peppermint oil. Eoghan and Jim got their hair buzzed as a precautionary measure, I treated Fiona just to make sure she was bug free...and thankfully she was. Then last Wednesday, I combed through my hair just to make sure I was clear...and wouldn't you know, I found a big ass lice clinging to a piece of hair for dear life. I about crapped my pants. I called the doctor to have them phone in a prescription for lice shampoo (this is killing us financially) and after 2 full hours of calling the pharmacy and our clinic's phone line to reach the doctor, we finally got it squared away. So I go to Walmart to pick it up...and insurance won't cover it. It's over the counter. OMG! If I had known that it was the same stuff we had used before, I wouldn't have been bugging the shit out of the pharmacist and doc all night! I was annoyed. Thankfully my mom was willing to help me out and treat my hair. I tried doing it myself and ripped out tons of hair. Now, after a week of hell...I found freshly hatched lice in Lily's hair. I have been defeated. So we started over. Washing, cleaning, combing, itching, crying. I had to have my hair treated again and combed out. My hair is pretty long right now, and since it's so thick, it takes a ton of the special shampoos and a full hour of combing to get through it all and still not be done. I've decided I want to get my hair cut to help make it easier...but now I'm stuck. Can't go get my hair cut with lice, but can't get rid of the stupid lice and need my hair cut to cut costs of treating. I'm hoping that I can find someone willing to come to my house to cut my hair for me...but I'm not holding my breath. I'm at my wits end with it all. I hate the dreaded call of shame to tell people that we've discovered lice. I'm mortified that we've passed it along to another of Lily's friends. I'm ready to buzz everyone's head to be safe and bug free lol. I feel like we've been dealing with this forever, and it's only been a week. I read somewhere that it could take up to 6 months to finally get rid of everything. omg. 6 months of this would kill me. Thankfully the kids are off for the next 2 weeks...so I'm thinking that since we have nowhere to be, we'll be spending today with our heads covered in mayonnaise and a plastic bag, cleaning the crap out of everything I can. I'm ready for a nap. :(

contradictions.

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I've come to a lot of conclusions about myself and knowing who I am. I realize that I like who I am and the person/mother/wife/friend I've become. I have a healthy sense of self appreciation and feel worthy of...everything good that comes my way. I'm confidant in my appearance and knowing what I want out of life. Why is it then, that at the same time, I'm so insecure? I'm always doubting myself and cutting myself down. I assume the worst and often set myself up for disappointment. Why am I living so many contradictions every day? It's hard knowing who to talk to...or how to talk about it without acknowledging that you feel like you've failed somehow, or that there's a problem somewhere? I feel stuck inside my head. can't wait for the fog to lift and know how to feel.

Family Sleep Over.

Yesterday the kids and I went to my friend's house to hang out. They saw that she had a tent in her back yard and it was over from there. We ended up having a family sleep over (this is our second time doing this) and boy...was it an adventure lol. After getting the "camping essentials" and about 100 stuffed animals, I was looking forward to a pleasant evening like this

Got some of this

.. a sprinkling of this

and Eoghan screaming and shrieking like a freak, and I was like this

And then after 45 minutes, I was like this

The kids finally fell asleep while watching "X Men" and I passed out in the porch on the couch (yeah, I wasn't about to sleep on the ground lol) so I could hear the kids. It was a GORGEOUS night for a sleep out. There was just enough of a chill to feel good, and no bugs!! Around 2 in the morning, Fiona woke up and started freaking out so she came to lay with me. I had to pee something awful, so I got up and told her I was just going potty. As I was wrapping things up, she starts screaming bloody murder out in the porch. I'm sure my friend's neighbors LOVED having us out there lol. The kids slept until 8:00 and they were all exhausted and out of control. The boy was bouncing off the freaking walls and ended up breaking my friend's chandelier with a yo yo.

Then the baby started freaking out over a stupid toy. Time go go home...nap time for everyone lol. Unfortunately, that's wishful thinking on my part. Instead of napping, the kids destroyed the house. I spent all day yesterday cleaning and they get home for 5 minutes and undid everything. I think I better get their butts moving to clean this house...

All fall down.

Last night my Polish side came out. As I was going out to close the trunk, I somehow fell (pretty sure I stepped on a rock and my platform flippy floppies didn't agree with the rolling movement and decided to roll me onto my ass, twisting my ankle/foot) and I couldn't get up.

I had to call the hubby on my cell phone to help me get up. I was positive I had broken my foot...the pain was excruciating. Thankfully, Jim was home to watch the kids and my sister in law was able to come bring me to the hospital. After x-rays, the doc and radiologist confirmed that I didn't not break my foot, but seriously sprained the shit out of my foot. Ice, rest, elevate the offending limb, ace bandage wrap and my "sexy gimp boot". So now it's the day after and the pain is still awful...except I don't have the hubby here to cater to my needs. Instead I have three little snots ready to destroy the house and ignore everything I say.

I've been begging them to pick up their messes and threaten their lives if I have to get up and discipline them and this is basically what I get:

I'm waiting on some crutches to come so I can actually get up to whoop their butts.

Have I mentioned that the fucking dogs AND kids keep hitting my injured foot!?!? So here are the things I need, if anyone feels like bringing them to me: a babysitter, some wine and a bed pan. Pretty sure those three things are all I really need today.

Feeling good!

How often do you think to yourself, "Hot damn, I feel good!"!? I have been feeling it a lot lately. Like, I just took a healthy, good.

Like, helped an old lady cross the street, good.

Like, in love, good.

There are many factors that play into it, but I think the main one is that I am taking care of myself like I should have been forever. I'm cutting the stress, I eating right, exercising, trying to simplify. I'm sure it helps to blog my feelings out too. I'm not a good writer and I'm boring, but I have fun with it. It's like a treasure hunt to find pictures that make me laugh because they fit in so nicely with my words. I'm in the process of planning a "mommy mini vacation" for myself to take some time and focus on me. Initially I was hoping to go to Florida (the ultimate vacation) to sit in the sun and see my bff, but those plans fell through. Now, the plans are going to fall together, but I will start off with a pedicure (thank you Mom), the new Dean Koontz book(s) and silence while I read until my eyes burn and I am going to go horseback riding, on a draft horse (omg, so psyched!!!). Who knows what else I might throw in there!! Then when I'm done, I will come back home to my lovely little family, and I will get back into the grind...my batteries recharged and ready to go. Ahh, man. Life is good.

Like, like.

Lily hasn't even finished school for this year (her last day is Thursday) and I'm already counting the days until next year begins. THIS year, Eoghan will be joining Lily though...THIS year will be epic. She'll be going into 2nd grade (where did the time go?) and he'll be starting kindergarten. All day long, just me and Fi. Although I love my children, I cannot wait until September lol. I will look like this:

My house will look like this:

I will no longer feel like this:

As you can see, I have high hopes for the future lol. :) On a different note. The other day I was helping my mom to dye her hair. It was quite an experience. After bleaching it and dying it, it was suuuuuuper light...so we dyed it again with what she had available and it turned out pretty cute. One thing is certain though...I am NOT a beautician/hair dresser/barber/stylist. People cannot fault me for not knowing how to do something I was not taught to do. So when you want your hair to turn out like this:

And it turns out like THIS: ... it's not my fault.

Then there's Jim who wants me to cut his hair like this:

And it ends up looking like THIS ... I cannot be blamed.

But, for those unhappy customers, I will gladly give you one of these:

Hey, I just met you and this is crazy...but here's my blog...read it.

So much has been going on lately, and I haven't blogged in far too long. I don't even know where to start!! Hmm...prepare for a random rant attack.

Recently, after watching a movie on Netflix about how horrible mass meat production farms are, I decided to become a vegetarian. Stopped cold turkey and haven't eaten meat in almost 3 weeks! It's been surprisingly easy. I've been eating tons more veggies than I normally would and have even bought and cooked tofu (never thought I'd see the day!) I've had a lot of people give me shit for my new life choice...but I'm really happy with myself. I'm surprised I've stuck with it this long even. Tonight the hubby got me a George Foreman grill and I LOVE it. It will help me a lot in my new diet. :) **Thanks again babe** Last week I turned 27. For most this wouldn't be a big deal...but I do not like getting older. To celebrate, the hubby took me to lunch at Khan's...most delicious food EVER. Then went to the bar with some family and friends to shoot some pool, play darts and b.s. After that, everything just kinda fell apart and the night was ended early...so that means I have a year to plan for a super awesome 28th birthday bash.

As most of you know, we're going to be moving sometime in the next 7-12 months, once the foreclosure is final. Once we move we're going to be going somewhere smaller than where we are now. The past few days I've been increasingly irritated with the huge mess that the house is. After essentially giving up on the "lost cause" for several months, I am ready for a change. So, I've been on a bit of a cleaning spree. Stop laughing a-holes lol...it's true! I've been throwing away tons of junk and it feels SOOOO GOOD! Be proud of this hoarder! Many people have asked where we are going to move to. We have no idea. We won't decide until we have a Sheriff's sale date, as it is still too early to be looking for something several months out. We are leaning toward the southern suburbs as it's closer to Jim's work...plus we love and miss that area. Woodbury is another option. Maybe we'll move to another state!?!? Yeah, I talk big, but I'm too chicken shit to leave MN...truth be told, I pretty much love this state. All I know for sure, is that wherever we go, we will HAVE to have a second bathroom. I am so tired of everyone in the house having to go at the same time. If all else fails, I guess I could just add a second toilet. Hehehe...gross.

See those pictures capturing the progression of one woman's meth addiction and how it ravaged her body? Sexy huh? Yeah, the shit's obviously so worth it. It's amazing how many people nowadays are addicted to this nasty drug. I've watched families be torn apart by it. I've seen first hand how warped people's minds get by taking it. It's so heartbreaking that people are willing to choose the junkie lifestyle and ruin their lives for meth. It's weird when you feel like you're living in an episode of "Intervention". All I can say is, please, get help if you are addicted to this poison. Reclaim your life. You have a choice!

That right up there, is a pic of my new baby. Old Blue (our old van) died and went to scrap heaven and I got a chevy venture with tons of bells and whistles. I've been dreaming of getting a mini van since forever and I never EVER thought I would get one. Between my dad refusing to work on one and Jim saying they're too expensive, I was not holding my breath on ever seeing that dream come true. Then this beauty falls into our laps and we (I) couldn't pass it up. I am in car love.

Lately I feel like a complete and utter mess when it comes to my mental health. I am being stretched to my limits. Any SAHM (nothing against working mom's, so don't go there) knows how hard it is to balance everything. Being Mom 24/7 and rarely getting a quality break is so hard. I've been really toying with the idea of taking a mommycation and taking a couple days for myself. I need time to miss the kids and miss home...I need time to BE MISSED by everyone. A quick trip to Florida to visit my bestie and lay on the beach with no children to worry about sounds so so lovely. But truth be told, I just need to be able to do whatever the hell I feel like doing when I wake up, not worry about anything but myself with no children, no real responsibility. I need a break from reality. Is that too much to ask? Maybe it is. Maybe I'm a selfish bitch...but I think I've earned the right to be selfish. Okay, it's already after midnight. I think it's time to hit the sack. I have so much more to bitch about...but that will have to wait for another day. Until next time...later.

No More Bad Guys in Wisconsin.

Today we went over to Hudson, Wisconsin to hang out down by the St. Croix river. The last time we were there was September of 2009...and while we were there, our car window was smashed in and my purse was stolen. At the time, I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with Fiona, Eoghan was almost 3 and Lily was 4. We didn't go back to Wisconsin for this long because for a very long time, there were "bad guys in Wisconsin". Today when we went, I made sure my purse was well secured lol. It was such a fantastic day to spend exploring and having family time. Jim and the kids skipped rocks, we played at the play ground (Fiona held me hostage on the merry go round and I about died), walked along the river bank, had a picnic and the kids played in the water a bit before we stopped at DQ and headed home. Everyone is exhausted and sunburned and happy. :) I just went through and compared some "then and now" pictures...it's amazing how much the kids have grown in 2 1/2 years.

I'm thinking we're going to go back really soon. We were told there's a nice swimming area on the other side...and I want to take the kids fishing!! I love being able to spend time together like today...nothing else going on...It's going to suck when Lily's in school this summer. Ugh. Anywho...that exhaustion is kicking my butt.