Cancer.

I decided this weekend to get some new ink. Okay, so really, I was jealous that Jim went to California, so I wanted to do something awesome too. I went to B Cool tattoo shop to get it done. I've driven past it hundreds of times in the past four years and always thought it looked pretty "hole in the wall, probably pretty ghetto"ish. I was pleasantly surprised. Unlike Rose of No Man's Land tattoo that I went to several months ago, the folks at B Cool greeted us immediately and were VERY reasonable in their prices. I met the guy that was going to do my tat and got to work.

I decided to go with my Cancer Zodiac sign, as it is very much "me". I am very happy with how it turned out.

While I was getting my tat done, we were discussing my horseshoe tattoo and how disappointed I was with how it turned out. He said for $20 more, he'd fix it. SNAP! So he went to town on that...and WOW...it turned out great. Check out the before and after:

I left completely satisfied and will definitely be back for more. I'm looking forward to working with Mr. Dutch to create some new masterpieces.

Bombs away!

Yesterday was the big day. After hours of cleaning and then goes of destroying the house, we set off the "smoker"bombs to kill the lice and fleas. Thankfully my mom came over to help me out... I was lost.

So when Jim got home from work, we set off the canisters and headed out on our 2 hour adventure. We ended up on Wisconsin at a burger king play place...I can think of worse places to spend the time. After that, we went home and started in on the mess. Cleaning, wiping, washing... On the bright side, I cleaned out my cupboards and organized them!

Yesterday was also the final lice treatment. Lily and Fiona were both lice free!! After the massive after bomb clean up, I went to my mom's house to have her treat NY hair. We used lice MD, which I had highly recommended to me. so I sat for an hour to make sure it grooved just right and spent over an hour having my hair sectioned and combed thorough. All clear. Mom and I didn't get done until 1 am. I'm so done with the late nights this crap has caused. Ready for a nap today.

Today I get to clean some more and do a billion loads of dishes and laundry. But to get a mental break, we're going to the zoo later. Can't ask for nicer weather this time of year.

I want to end this entry by saying thank you to everyone who has helped me out during this mess. Whether or was combing my hair, giving advice, suggesting treatments or just giving me a shoulder to cry on...you are all appreciated. It was so nice to know I wasn't alone. I now declare that chapter of my life CLOSED. :D

Why hide?

After having someone anonymously post a comment on my last blog, that is obviously somebody I know, I am not thrilled. You are obviously not a friend if you can't even come out and say something honestly, without hiding behind "Anonymous". I honestly don't think I would be this pissed if you had just come out and ask me instead of going about it the way you did. This way makes it sound like you're afraid of offending me or something. Well, this way of going about it did offend me. I feel like I was being accused...of something. And it's not just me that took it that way. If you you were any sort of a friend, you would have offered a helping hand instead of criticizing my general public ethic. Instead of acting like I'm intentionally spreading Tuberculosis...read my blog

and see that I've been busting my ass to get things under control. Now that I've defended myself, I leave you with this:

Stressing to the max.

Ever wonder what you did that was so bad that the universe decided to punish you? We've been battling head lice which is hard enough...then the other day, I had a giant flea crawl from the dog onto my arm. So now we've got two different parasites infesting our home (on top of the 3 kids :p). How the hell did we go from no bugs to this? It's bad enough with lice, but the fleas might just be worse...those suckers JUMP! *shudder* So we had to go get tons of flea killing products...and now I have to find something to do with the cat and dog for 2 1/2 hours one day so we can bomb the house. Is it bad that I kinda wish we were really bombing the house??

Speaking of houses...we're getting closer and closer to moving day. The foreclosure is final and we have to be out by March 11th, and we have no leads on a place to live. We can't afford more than $900 for a 3 bedroom...which is not a lot of money to work with. Basically all I can find are crappy places in bad neighborhoods. There's no way I'm moving my kids somewhere that isn't safe, in the ghetto where I can't feel safe either. Did I mention that moving to Minneapolis terrifies me? It's hard to wait to look, but we're going to have to stop looking until January. It's really hard not knowing what's next. Having pets sucks too because it's going to be an added cost for rent every month. With everything going on I had a weak moment and considered getting rid of the cat and dog. I could never do it though. They're my fur babies, and they're best friends. Lily and Eoghan got their report cards this week. Eoghan is so very smart, but can't control himself to save his life. Every day he has to take breaks, and a couple times a week he has full out fits where we can't get him to calm down for hours. Then there's Lily who is well behaved and popular, but not the brightest bulb in the shed. She's not really stupid, but she doesn't apply herself at all. "Gee, that's too hard, I can't do it...duuuurrrrr..." So now when school gets back in session, I have to look into getting her a tutor. Just another thing to add to my list of things to do. The kids have been on break from school for a week now and I'm ready to punch myself in the face. Because we've got bugs, I can't let them go anywhere or have anyone over here, so we've been stuck with each other.

Jim's birthday was the other day and he got himself the new game..."Black Ops" or something like that. Let me just say, watching somebody play video games is SO BORING! It's also super frustrating when the person playing is getting really grumpy and yelling at everything because the game isn't going as planned. I love you dearly, but you really need to pop some Xanax before you play. Maybe I should too lol. That being said HOLY EXPENSIVE! The game itself is stupid pricey, but the equipment to play is EVEN MORE than the game. WTH!? Now I have two boys in the house that are into playing and I can see that it will get much more expensive as the years go on.

One bright side I created a chore game for the kids...We decorated a jar and I put slips of paper that have a chore and points earned for completing the chore...plus there are random "+1 and -1 point" cards to keep it game like. We keep track of their points and every few turns, I have them do the math to add up their points. Each point is worth a penny. So they get some money to buy their own toys and I've got a clean house. Hell yes. Lily was saving up for a walking puppy toy and Eoghan was saving up for more Sky Landers guys. They both caved early and ended up buying their own happy meals and a small toy from walmart. Works for me! haha. There's more I could rant about, but I'll save it for another blog. Until next time. :)

The "L" Word.

Well, our time has come. We've caught the dreaded LICE. We've made it until until Lily's 2nd grade year before it hit. I should be grateful...and I am...but right now, after a full week of dozens of lice treatments, I'm just frustrated. It started out that Lily was exposed pretty extensively to lice...and for a couple weeks afterwards, we were watching and praying it would skip us...then last Monday morning she said her head was itching. So, I looked...and saw a GIANT bug on her hair. I almost puked on her. I don't handle bugs well. That began our journey of eradicating the enemy. We treated with Nix, coated hair in mayonnaise and let it sit for 4 hours, combed and combed and combed with olive and baby oil. Then I took bedding and toys and have been washing and drying non stop, using the steamer to clean everything else, spraying stuff with furniture spray and spraying ourselves with peppermint oil. Eoghan and Jim got their hair buzzed as a precautionary measure, I treated Fiona just to make sure she was bug free...and thankfully she was. Then last Wednesday, I combed through my hair just to make sure I was clear...and wouldn't you know, I found a big ass lice clinging to a piece of hair for dear life. I about crapped my pants. I called the doctor to have them phone in a prescription for lice shampoo (this is killing us financially) and after 2 full hours of calling the pharmacy and our clinic's phone line to reach the doctor, we finally got it squared away. So I go to Walmart to pick it up...and insurance won't cover it. It's over the counter. OMG! If I had known that it was the same stuff we had used before, I wouldn't have been bugging the shit out of the pharmacist and doc all night! I was annoyed. Thankfully my mom was willing to help me out and treat my hair. I tried doing it myself and ripped out tons of hair. Now, after a week of hell...I found freshly hatched lice in Lily's hair. I have been defeated. So we started over. Washing, cleaning, combing, itching, crying. I had to have my hair treated again and combed out. My hair is pretty long right now, and since it's so thick, it takes a ton of the special shampoos and a full hour of combing to get through it all and still not be done. I've decided I want to get my hair cut to help make it easier...but now I'm stuck. Can't go get my hair cut with lice, but can't get rid of the stupid lice and need my hair cut to cut costs of treating. I'm hoping that I can find someone willing to come to my house to cut my hair for me...but I'm not holding my breath. I'm at my wits end with it all. I hate the dreaded call of shame to tell people that we've discovered lice. I'm mortified that we've passed it along to another of Lily's friends. I'm ready to buzz everyone's head to be safe and bug free lol. I feel like we've been dealing with this forever, and it's only been a week. I read somewhere that it could take up to 6 months to finally get rid of everything. omg. 6 months of this would kill me. Thankfully the kids are off for the next 2 weeks...so I'm thinking that since we have nowhere to be, we'll be spending today with our heads covered in mayonnaise and a plastic bag, cleaning the crap out of everything I can. I'm ready for a nap. :(

contradictions.

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I've come to a lot of conclusions about myself and knowing who I am. I realize that I like who I am and the person/mother/wife/friend I've become. I have a healthy sense of self appreciation and feel worthy of...everything good that comes my way. I'm confidant in my appearance and knowing what I want out of life. Why is it then, that at the same time, I'm so insecure? I'm always doubting myself and cutting myself down. I assume the worst and often set myself up for disappointment. Why am I living so many contradictions every day? It's hard knowing who to talk to...or how to talk about it without acknowledging that you feel like you've failed somehow, or that there's a problem somewhere? I feel stuck inside my head. can't wait for the fog to lift and know how to feel.

Family Sleep Over.

Yesterday the kids and I went to my friend's house to hang out. They saw that she had a tent in her back yard and it was over from there. We ended up having a family sleep over (this is our second time doing this) and boy...was it an adventure lol. After getting the "camping essentials" and about 100 stuffed animals, I was looking forward to a pleasant evening like this

Got some of this

.. a sprinkling of this

and Eoghan screaming and shrieking like a freak, and I was like this

And then after 45 minutes, I was like this

The kids finally fell asleep while watching "X Men" and I passed out in the porch on the couch (yeah, I wasn't about to sleep on the ground lol) so I could hear the kids. It was a GORGEOUS night for a sleep out. There was just enough of a chill to feel good, and no bugs!! Around 2 in the morning, Fiona woke up and started freaking out so she came to lay with me. I had to pee something awful, so I got up and told her I was just going potty. As I was wrapping things up, she starts screaming bloody murder out in the porch. I'm sure my friend's neighbors LOVED having us out there lol. The kids slept until 8:00 and they were all exhausted and out of control. The boy was bouncing off the freaking walls and ended up breaking my friend's chandelier with a yo yo.

Then the baby started freaking out over a stupid toy. Time go go home...nap time for everyone lol. Unfortunately, that's wishful thinking on my part. Instead of napping, the kids destroyed the house. I spent all day yesterday cleaning and they get home for 5 minutes and undid everything. I think I better get their butts moving to clean this house...

All fall down.

Last night my Polish side came out. As I was going out to close the trunk, I somehow fell (pretty sure I stepped on a rock and my platform flippy floppies didn't agree with the rolling movement and decided to roll me onto my ass, twisting my ankle/foot) and I couldn't get up.

I had to call the hubby on my cell phone to help me get up. I was positive I had broken my foot...the pain was excruciating. Thankfully, Jim was home to watch the kids and my sister in law was able to come bring me to the hospital. After x-rays, the doc and radiologist confirmed that I didn't not break my foot, but seriously sprained the shit out of my foot. Ice, rest, elevate the offending limb, ace bandage wrap and my "sexy gimp boot". So now it's the day after and the pain is still awful...except I don't have the hubby here to cater to my needs. Instead I have three little snots ready to destroy the house and ignore everything I say.

I've been begging them to pick up their messes and threaten their lives if I have to get up and discipline them and this is basically what I get:

I'm waiting on some crutches to come so I can actually get up to whoop their butts.

Have I mentioned that the fucking dogs AND kids keep hitting my injured foot!?!? So here are the things I need, if anyone feels like bringing them to me: a babysitter, some wine and a bed pan. Pretty sure those three things are all I really need today.

Feeling good!

How often do you think to yourself, "Hot damn, I feel good!"!? I have been feeling it a lot lately. Like, I just took a healthy, good.

Like, helped an old lady cross the street, good.

Like, in love, good.

There are many factors that play into it, but I think the main one is that I am taking care of myself like I should have been forever. I'm cutting the stress, I eating right, exercising, trying to simplify. I'm sure it helps to blog my feelings out too. I'm not a good writer and I'm boring, but I have fun with it. It's like a treasure hunt to find pictures that make me laugh because they fit in so nicely with my words. I'm in the process of planning a "mommy mini vacation" for myself to take some time and focus on me. Initially I was hoping to go to Florida (the ultimate vacation) to sit in the sun and see my bff, but those plans fell through. Now, the plans are going to fall together, but I will start off with a pedicure (thank you Mom), the new Dean Koontz book(s) and silence while I read until my eyes burn and I am going to go horseback riding, on a draft horse (omg, so psyched!!!). Who knows what else I might throw in there!! Then when I'm done, I will come back home to my lovely little family, and I will get back into the grind...my batteries recharged and ready to go. Ahh, man. Life is good.

Like, like.

Lily hasn't even finished school for this year (her last day is Thursday) and I'm already counting the days until next year begins. THIS year, Eoghan will be joining Lily though...THIS year will be epic. She'll be going into 2nd grade (where did the time go?) and he'll be starting kindergarten. All day long, just me and Fi. Although I love my children, I cannot wait until September lol. I will look like this:

My house will look like this:

I will no longer feel like this:

As you can see, I have high hopes for the future lol. :) On a different note. The other day I was helping my mom to dye her hair. It was quite an experience. After bleaching it and dying it, it was suuuuuuper light...so we dyed it again with what she had available and it turned out pretty cute. One thing is certain though...I am NOT a beautician/hair dresser/barber/stylist. People cannot fault me for not knowing how to do something I was not taught to do. So when you want your hair to turn out like this:

And it turns out like THIS: ... it's not my fault.

Then there's Jim who wants me to cut his hair like this:

And it ends up looking like THIS ... I cannot be blamed.

But, for those unhappy customers, I will gladly give you one of these:

Hey, I just met you and this is crazy...but here's my blog...read it.

So much has been going on lately, and I haven't blogged in far too long. I don't even know where to start!! Hmm...prepare for a random rant attack.

Recently, after watching a movie on Netflix about how horrible mass meat production farms are, I decided to become a vegetarian. Stopped cold turkey and haven't eaten meat in almost 3 weeks! It's been surprisingly easy. I've been eating tons more veggies than I normally would and have even bought and cooked tofu (never thought I'd see the day!) I've had a lot of people give me shit for my new life choice...but I'm really happy with myself. I'm surprised I've stuck with it this long even. Tonight the hubby got me a George Foreman grill and I LOVE it. It will help me a lot in my new diet. :) **Thanks again babe** Last week I turned 27. For most this wouldn't be a big deal...but I do not like getting older. To celebrate, the hubby took me to lunch at Khan's...most delicious food EVER. Then went to the bar with some family and friends to shoot some pool, play darts and b.s. After that, everything just kinda fell apart and the night was ended early...so that means I have a year to plan for a super awesome 28th birthday bash.

As most of you know, we're going to be moving sometime in the next 7-12 months, once the foreclosure is final. Once we move we're going to be going somewhere smaller than where we are now. The past few days I've been increasingly irritated with the huge mess that the house is. After essentially giving up on the "lost cause" for several months, I am ready for a change. So, I've been on a bit of a cleaning spree. Stop laughing a-holes lol...it's true! I've been throwing away tons of junk and it feels SOOOO GOOD! Be proud of this hoarder! Many people have asked where we are going to move to. We have no idea. We won't decide until we have a Sheriff's sale date, as it is still too early to be looking for something several months out. We are leaning toward the southern suburbs as it's closer to Jim's work...plus we love and miss that area. Woodbury is another option. Maybe we'll move to another state!?!? Yeah, I talk big, but I'm too chicken shit to leave MN...truth be told, I pretty much love this state. All I know for sure, is that wherever we go, we will HAVE to have a second bathroom. I am so tired of everyone in the house having to go at the same time. If all else fails, I guess I could just add a second toilet. Hehehe...gross.

See those pictures capturing the progression of one woman's meth addiction and how it ravaged her body? Sexy huh? Yeah, the shit's obviously so worth it. It's amazing how many people nowadays are addicted to this nasty drug. I've watched families be torn apart by it. I've seen first hand how warped people's minds get by taking it. It's so heartbreaking that people are willing to choose the junkie lifestyle and ruin their lives for meth. It's weird when you feel like you're living in an episode of "Intervention". All I can say is, please, get help if you are addicted to this poison. Reclaim your life. You have a choice!

That right up there, is a pic of my new baby. Old Blue (our old van) died and went to scrap heaven and I got a chevy venture with tons of bells and whistles. I've been dreaming of getting a mini van since forever and I never EVER thought I would get one. Between my dad refusing to work on one and Jim saying they're too expensive, I was not holding my breath on ever seeing that dream come true. Then this beauty falls into our laps and we (I) couldn't pass it up. I am in car love.

Lately I feel like a complete and utter mess when it comes to my mental health. I am being stretched to my limits. Any SAHM (nothing against working mom's, so don't go there) knows how hard it is to balance everything. Being Mom 24/7 and rarely getting a quality break is so hard. I've been really toying with the idea of taking a mommycation and taking a couple days for myself. I need time to miss the kids and miss home...I need time to BE MISSED by everyone. A quick trip to Florida to visit my bestie and lay on the beach with no children to worry about sounds so so lovely. But truth be told, I just need to be able to do whatever the hell I feel like doing when I wake up, not worry about anything but myself with no children, no real responsibility. I need a break from reality. Is that too much to ask? Maybe it is. Maybe I'm a selfish bitch...but I think I've earned the right to be selfish. Okay, it's already after midnight. I think it's time to hit the sack. I have so much more to bitch about...but that will have to wait for another day. Until next time...later.

No More Bad Guys in Wisconsin.

Today we went over to Hudson, Wisconsin to hang out down by the St. Croix river. The last time we were there was September of 2009...and while we were there, our car window was smashed in and my purse was stolen. At the time, I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with Fiona, Eoghan was almost 3 and Lily was 4. We didn't go back to Wisconsin for this long because for a very long time, there were "bad guys in Wisconsin". Today when we went, I made sure my purse was well secured lol. It was such a fantastic day to spend exploring and having family time. Jim and the kids skipped rocks, we played at the play ground (Fiona held me hostage on the merry go round and I about died), walked along the river bank, had a picnic and the kids played in the water a bit before we stopped at DQ and headed home. Everyone is exhausted and sunburned and happy. :) I just went through and compared some "then and now" pictures...it's amazing how much the kids have grown in 2 1/2 years.

I'm thinking we're going to go back really soon. We were told there's a nice swimming area on the other side...and I want to take the kids fishing!! I love being able to spend time together like today...nothing else going on...It's going to suck when Lily's in school this summer. Ugh. Anywho...that exhaustion is kicking my butt.

Playing "House, M.D".

Thought I would fill everyone in on what's been going on around our neck of the woods the past few days.

On Easter morning, I woke up to Fiona having a seizure (this is seizure number 3...The first two took place on Christmas of 2010 and 2011...the girl has an aversion to holidays). When it didn't stop after 5 minutes, I had Jim call 911. By the time the paramedics showed up, she had been seizing for almost 20 minutes and her lips were turning blue. I went with Fi in the ambulance and watched as they tried to get a response from her and find a vein to start an IV and get her some meds to stop the seizure. They finally got everything going and her convulsions started slowing down. They were trying to decide whether or not to give her more medication to stop it...but if they did, they would risk her body forgetting to breathe. Finally, after nearly 40 minutes she was still and her eyes were no longer fixed and staring off into space. We got to the hospital and they immediately got her into a room and started working on her. They started drawing blood to run tests and the doctor told me that they would be keeping her over night for observation because when children seize for such a long period of time, the chance of another seizure soon after is very high.

After about an hour, they got us admitted and set up in a room. Fiona was still passed out at this point. The neurologist compared having a seizure to running a marathon...physically exhausting...plus the medication they gave her is a type of valium and makes you tired. She woke up around 2:45 and was very confused. She knew who Jim and I were, but couldn't remember her own name...didn't know who Dora was, but recognized a horse. We were quite concerned. My brother and his girlfriend came to visit us and while we were visiting with them, Fiona had another "episode" that I am quite positive was another seizure, but didn't present with the flailing limbs. Her eyes were moving back and forth, but not focusing on anything...and she was unresponsive. She came to and then fell asleep for about 20 minutes, and when she woke up, she was back to normal. She wasn't confused and she was ready to play. Grandma and Grandpa came to visit a little later and her fever spiked to 103.8. More meds and finally time for bed...sleeping in a hospital is not an easy task in general, but add someone coming in to check Fiona's vitals every 45 minutes and it was brutal.

At 8:00 they came to wake us up and immediately began stabbing Fiona to draw some blood (what a wonderful way to start your day...NOT). We also began our super long wait for the neurologist to come and see us. Fi was running a fever all day and they were still trying to find out what was causing her fever that caused the seizure (her brain can't handle the sudden spike in fever...so it's not about how high the fever is, it's about of fast it rises)...urine and blood were clear and she has no symptoms of a cold or virus. Aunt Angie came to visit and hang out with us and we also got a visit from my bff's mom, my other bff and Eoghan. Finally, the neurologist showed up, but was distracted by pages. Eventually, she was able to come in and explain things to me. Essentially, Fiona had a complex febrile seizure, in the "grand mal" category. Typically, a seizure lasts between 30 and 60 seconds. All of Fiona's have been 5 minutes or longer and at least 2 of the times have happened without her being actively sick. She will probably suffer from febrile or fever seizures until she outgrows them between 5 and 7 years old. We will be going home with a couple doses of "stop seizure medication" to keep us ready in the event that another one occurs. The odds of her having epilepsy are pretty small, but they are going to take her for an EEG in the morning to monitor her brain waves to see if there is anything "funny" that pops up. After that, if they still haven't found a reason for her fevers, they will probably cut off her cast to see if there is an infection on the skin underneath it.

Basically everything is a big ol' question mark right now, and I have a feeling they won't know why she has a fever all of a sudden. We are going on night 2 of our hospital stay while I am grateful for all of the fantastic care that has been given to our daughter and the amazing support our family and friends have shown us, I am ready to sleep in my own bed and pee in my own toilet. Fiona misses her brother and sister and wants to go home...someone tell her body to cut the crap so we can go home!!?? LOL. Will update again when we know more. Thanks again to everyone. You are appreciated beyond words.

To Whom It May Concern.

You suck. It would be one thing if you just sucked as a human being, but you also suck as a parent. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but at least I try. I wake up in the morning (even though I'd rather still be sleeping) with my children and put on my mommy britches and take care of business. This happens in the morning. Without my mother having to wake me up every single day. You on the other hand, cannot be bothered to even get your child up and off to school in the morning without your mother screaming and hollering at you to get out of bed and take care of business. You stay in bed until you are tired of being bitched at to get up. You don't take care of your child. Our parents are the ones who take care of her. THEY are more like her parents. They are more concerned about her well being. You only care about you. I love that little girl and I want more for her. Why do you think I take her whenever I can to go places and do things? Taking a child to the zoo twice a year is not enough...it doesn't make you world's best parent. You need to really spend time with them DAILY and not be so selfish. You should be taking care of your child instead of worrying about which "Boo" you're going to hook up with that night or where you're going to go out drinking. I'm all for having time away and time to yourself...but when "you" time is all the time and your child is abandoned by you, there is a problem. Technically, you are a "single mom", but really, no you're not. You have people there to take care of your shit for you every second of the day. As for my children "destroying your things", I'm sorry for the things that have been ruined. I am sorry that you can't be an adult and put your things away. When my children are over and their cousin wants to play in her room or something, naturally they want to play too. They are children...they get into things that are interesting to them. They want to pet the hamster. They also do what their cousin eggs them on to do. But when you are gone out and about and not being a responsible parent or sleeping in the bed that's a foot away from what is taking place at 1:00 in the afternoon, then you can't be pissed that things aren't being taken care of. When I'm making dinner for 10 people, I check on the kids, but I can't watch them all the time. I can't police everything...but at least I was there to take care of business. I'm sorry that my 2 year old ruined your origami box lid (but remember how you're obsessed and will spend hours at a time at it instead of with your child, I'm sure you can make another one). I'm sorry that the kids got into your fish food (yet another obsession for you to put in front of your child) and into your make up (all your daughter's doing), then maybe you should open your damn eyes and look right next to your bed. You lazy mother. Like I said, I'm not perfect, but I do try. I do what I can to make my children's lives better and teach them to be productive members of society. And seriously, you made me laugh...I need to teach my children respect?!?!? My children are good kids, and if they aren't using their manners, I take action. You do nothing but teach your child how to treat other people like garbage. She has attacked my children and others and her own grandmother!! It's not just her other aunt that is teaching her these horrific actions and trashy words, you are. You are supposed to want more for your child. You are raising her NOT to respect her elders or anyone else around her. Take responsibility as a parent. Show her how a real woman acts. Grow the fuck up and be an adult. Get a job instead of defrauding the government and pretend like you're trying to find a job. Learn what it's like to have to be self sufficient. Get out of your parent's house...you are sucking the life right out of them. They deserve more out of life than just picking up the pieces of your crap that you leave in your wake. I'm sick of seeing things going the way they are. I'm sick of watching you ruin lives around you without an ounce of remorse. Grow up.

Vay cay shun.

When I planned our vacation down to Florida, I honestly had no idea what I was getting us into. We left Monday night around 10:30 and drove through the night thinking that it would be great to drive wile the kids slept. O. M. G. BAD idea. Lily was up until 5:30 in the morning anyway and Jim and I were so exhausted we were going to kill someone. We stopped a billion times and around 1:30 on Tuesday, we stopped in Evansville, Indiana. Turns out that our GPS took us a horrible way down to Georgia. It truly was a crappy drive, and we couldn't drive anymore. Our pit stop in Georgia to visit my friend would have to wait...Jim and I were going to die if we didn't sleep. So we had Celia book us a hotel in Nashville and were asleep by 8:00. The next day we started out for our next 13 hour drive. Driving through Tennessee is amazing. Such a beautiful state!! We finally hit our destination at 11 at night. Shorts, flip flops, sleeping with the fan on, sun burn. This place is sweeeeet! Day 1 of the real part of vacation: We went to a play ground that had a sand volley ball court...the sand was this amazing white, powder like sand...I wish Minnesota had sand like that!! On the way back to the house, there was a wall that had little lizards all over it. So fun!! After that we went to Clearwater Beach, Florida to see the ocean. It did not disappoint. My first time seeing the ocean was awesome. There was more of that heavenly sand, hundreds of seagulls, pelicans, boats, a cool pier, sea shells galore, and of course, the powerful waves. After a few hours of shell hunting, playing in the water, flying kites and running away from the sea gulls that attacked Noah to steal his cheese puffs, Jim and I took the kids to the pier. It was so cool. There were stands set up along the whole thing selling their creations. We got the kids necklaces and took some pictures and by the time we were done, the sun was gone and it was time to go home. Denisa's mom had brought the kids doughnuts from Dunkin Donuts (Thank you Margareta and Tiberiu)so we got our first taste of those yummies and then we headed back to home base. I got FRIED by the sun. I can't believe it! The kids have been having a great time playing (and Fiona has tried on every pair of shoes in the house). Today it's raining so we're going to head back to Clearwater to the aquarium where the dolphin from "Dolphin Tale" is located. Lily is so excited, since she watched the movie just before we left for vacation. More to post later. :)

The calm before the storm.

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Have you ever just stopped and watched your children play and cried because you can't contain the emotions that you feel? I had a moment like that last night while watching the kids play at the Minnesota Children's Museum. and I couldn't believe how cute they were being, playing together and preparing a pretend meal for me in the restaurant. I couldn't stop the tears that ran down my face...and barely managed to avoid snotting all over the place. People were looking at me like "what's this lady's issue?", but I know that they would know the feeling if I explained my in public water works. Our night out at the museum was going so well...and we were so close to having a perfect evening...and then the fit hit the shan.
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Yep, Lily threw a fit because she couldn't sleep over at Grandma's house. It could have been worse, but it was still horribly embarrassing and ever so frustrating. She was whining and crying and begging and whining some more, with tears streaming down her face, smearing the face paint that she applied to her entire face and then wiping it onto the sleeves of her shirt. What a way to end a great night out. Now Mom's mad and you won't get ANYTHING you want. Way to go kid.

Now today it's like...everything is backwards. Eoghan has been such a well behaved kid and the other two are out of control! Lily demanded I make pizza for breakfast (um, I just opened my eyes...I don't think so) and was a brat when I said no. Fiona has discovered not only biting but that the word "NO" is amazing. Fiona, do you want water? "NO!" Do you want an orange? "NO!" Well what do you want? "NO!" Stop saying 'no'. "NO!" omg...She has also taken to throwing herself on the floor, screaming, crying and slapping the floor. I need some baby sedatives (Kidding!!-mostly-)

I remember the days when I wasn't losing my mind. Really, I do. It wasn't until about 4 years ago that I snapped. Maybe it's more like...I stopped pretending that I wasn't nuts before. Having one child is hard, having 2 is a little harder...and having 3...oh man. Let's just say I don't know how people have any more than 3 and aren't in the looney bin. Some days I almost feel like checking myself in just to get a break from the madness that is being a SAHM. I won't sugar coat it and pretend that it's easy peasy. It's not always a pain in the ass...but who wants to read a blog about a lady who goes on and on about how perfect her kids are and how clean her house is. Real life is much more entertaining, donchya think?

I guess I just can't wait until the kids are teenagers and sleep all day long...I will be right along with them snoring away the hours. Maybe once I catch up on all the sleep I've needed but haven't had, I'll be sane??? Here's to hoping. :)