WWJD?

Growing up, we weren't a religious family. We had our baptisms, first communions and funerals. Tradition type stuff. I was in the church choir for a little while and as a teenager went with my cousins to their church for the "teen night" (sing some religious pop songs, play some games, have a little preachy/prayer time). My annoyance with the "bible thumpers" started then. I remember going on a camping trip with this Christian church and on the van ride, one of the girls said "I hate Catholics." I was upset, because what little I knew of religion, I knew that my family was Catholic. I was 15 when that happened and I knew there was something very wrong with what that girl said. I mean, aren't we taught through all of this church crap that God loves us all?

Flash forward a few years. I met Jim and we instantly hit it off. I even remember having the religion talk on one f our dates. I knew he was an atheist and that I wasn't religious either. End of discussion. We "lived in sin" for a year and a half until I got pregnant. We got married by a judge a few months later. Then our beautiful Lily was born and I wanted to have her baptized. Oh man. You'd think I said I wanted to set her on fire by the reaction I got. Jim was not for it. Out of respect for him, I didn't have any of my children baptized. (He still thinks I went behind his back and did it anyway.) I never taught them anything of God or religion and avoided it as much as possible to avoid the conflict it would create. I decided that I would remain neutral on the topic and not bring it up until they asked questions. Eventually they got older and had friends that would tell them stories from the bible or talk about God or Heaven. I always answered with "Some people believe this, but other people believe other things." Well, recently Lily came to us and told us that she wants to go to Sunday school and learn about God. *Oh shit. Here we go.* After a month or so and a few stops at churches for little miss stuff and Eoghan asking "Do we get to learn about God?", I decided that it was time to let the kids experience church. Obviously, the hubby was less than thrilled and wanted me to bring them to a hard core Catholic church (stand up, sit down, kneel, pray, sing, repeat) so they'd be bored to death. I wanted to give them a fair shake at it. To be honest, the past few years I've been thinking about finding a church to join for myself...especially recently with Ashley's sudden death and my upcoming surgery...I've been needing to find the faith. So I looked around and I found an Agnostic church in my area that seemed like a good balance. Not too preachy, not centered on just one faith, accepting of everyone, seemed well rounded. So I decided to check it out. This is how it went:

Sunday morning after sleeping too late and trying to skip it, the kids insisted we go. (Eoghan wasn't so excited, but had to go anyway lol) We headed out to the church I'd found and after a 20 minute drive...it was no longer there!! Fail! Luckily, on the way out, I saw a church near our home that had a blinking sign advertising their 9:30 and ll am services. So, we headed out. When we went inside, I had to find someone to tell us what to do. Awkward. I went and registered the kids to join in their Sunday school classes and the kids barely even said "bye!" to me! Fiona's room was basically like an ECFE room, full of fun small child toys and friends. Lily and Eoghan's room was like a rec center play room complete with Wii and foosball and tons of kids. I went downstairs and quickly realized that this was not a "traditional church". This was more of a modern setting. There was a band up on stage starting to play some Christian pop music and people started filling the auditorium. I decided before I got in there that this was strictly an observe and report type of visit. Before I know it, people are standing up all around me, arms raised in the air, singing their hearts out. Thankfully, the old man in front of me was also sitting down, otherwise I would have been totally mortified. This is just NOT my thing lol. Eventually, we got to where the preacher/pastor/dude that talks (no idea what his title was) started with his service (that's the only word I can think of to describe it...it wasn't a traditional sermon or anything. It was super laid back, just a dude on a stool on a stage with a bible.) I listened to him talk about the importance of true friendship and staying away from fake friends that don't have your best interest at heart. I found myself nodding along and thinking "wow...what a great message." Then there was the awkward "shake your neighbor's hand" thing and the passing of the collection plate and it was all over. I high tailed it up to get the kids before I could be cornered and told all of the reasons I should join their congregation. The kids were all grins and giggles and "MOM! We love church! Can we come back next week!?" Wow! I'm sure some of it had to do with the fact that the place is all fun and they gave the kids a toy for being a new member. On the way home, I asked them what they had learned. They told me about the story they were told (I have no idea what they were talking about or what the "moral" was...it didn't make much sense coming from them lol) about a missionary that was either possessed by a demon and did a lot of bad things and was arrested or a missionary that was arrested for spreading the word of Jesus and while in jail they kept saying they were wrongly accused and stared to pray. God heard their word and there was an earthquake and off of their chains fell off and they were "free". The guard told them that if they (the prisoners) left the prison, that he (the guard) would be killed for letting them escape. So, the missionaries stayed and spared his life. ...not sure what to think about all of that. I should have emailed the people to ask them what it was REALLY about...but I didn't. So now, the kids keep talking about church and praying and God and going back next week. This is where things get tricky...

Jim has never hidden his dislike for religion and church and the like. I don't want him to feel pressured to join us at church. BUT, I think the kids are old enough to decide if they want to have to go to church every Sunday. I think they're old enough to decide that they want to learn about God. I don't think it's fair to scoff whenever they mention church...or to tell them that the bible says women aren't equal to men. I say teach them the good things...like honor your mother and father, don't murder, don't lie, cheat or steal, help your neighbors, be a good person. If it helps to make them a better person, what's the harm? If having faith helps get them through a difficult spot in life, how can it be a bad thing? I think that it's possible to have a happy balance of both of our beliefs. Is it possible? I don't want it to be a "I'm right, you're wrong" thing...I want it to be a "let's agree to disagree but with respect" thing. I don't want the kids to feel guilty or stupid for wanting to try new things. I also want to have my role as their parent validated. I want everyone to be happy without the strain on my relationship.

I love you Jim...even if you are a heathen. ;)