No More Bad Guys in Wisconsin.

Today we went over to Hudson, Wisconsin to hang out down by the St. Croix river. The last time we were there was September of 2009...and while we were there, our car window was smashed in and my purse was stolen. At the time, I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with Fiona, Eoghan was almost 3 and Lily was 4. We didn't go back to Wisconsin for this long because for a very long time, there were "bad guys in Wisconsin". Today when we went, I made sure my purse was well secured lol. It was such a fantastic day to spend exploring and having family time. Jim and the kids skipped rocks, we played at the play ground (Fiona held me hostage on the merry go round and I about died), walked along the river bank, had a picnic and the kids played in the water a bit before we stopped at DQ and headed home. Everyone is exhausted and sunburned and happy. :) I just went through and compared some "then and now" pictures...it's amazing how much the kids have grown in 2 1/2 years.

I'm thinking we're going to go back really soon. We were told there's a nice swimming area on the other side...and I want to take the kids fishing!! I love being able to spend time together like today...nothing else going on...It's going to suck when Lily's in school this summer. Ugh. Anywho...that exhaustion is kicking my butt.

Playing "House, M.D".

Thought I would fill everyone in on what's been going on around our neck of the woods the past few days.

On Easter morning, I woke up to Fiona having a seizure (this is seizure number 3...The first two took place on Christmas of 2010 and 2011...the girl has an aversion to holidays). When it didn't stop after 5 minutes, I had Jim call 911. By the time the paramedics showed up, she had been seizing for almost 20 minutes and her lips were turning blue. I went with Fi in the ambulance and watched as they tried to get a response from her and find a vein to start an IV and get her some meds to stop the seizure. They finally got everything going and her convulsions started slowing down. They were trying to decide whether or not to give her more medication to stop it...but if they did, they would risk her body forgetting to breathe. Finally, after nearly 40 minutes she was still and her eyes were no longer fixed and staring off into space. We got to the hospital and they immediately got her into a room and started working on her. They started drawing blood to run tests and the doctor told me that they would be keeping her over night for observation because when children seize for such a long period of time, the chance of another seizure soon after is very high.

After about an hour, they got us admitted and set up in a room. Fiona was still passed out at this point. The neurologist compared having a seizure to running a marathon...physically exhausting...plus the medication they gave her is a type of valium and makes you tired. She woke up around 2:45 and was very confused. She knew who Jim and I were, but couldn't remember her own name...didn't know who Dora was, but recognized a horse. We were quite concerned. My brother and his girlfriend came to visit us and while we were visiting with them, Fiona had another "episode" that I am quite positive was another seizure, but didn't present with the flailing limbs. Her eyes were moving back and forth, but not focusing on anything...and she was unresponsive. She came to and then fell asleep for about 20 minutes, and when she woke up, she was back to normal. She wasn't confused and she was ready to play. Grandma and Grandpa came to visit a little later and her fever spiked to 103.8. More meds and finally time for bed...sleeping in a hospital is not an easy task in general, but add someone coming in to check Fiona's vitals every 45 minutes and it was brutal.

At 8:00 they came to wake us up and immediately began stabbing Fiona to draw some blood (what a wonderful way to start your day...NOT). We also began our super long wait for the neurologist to come and see us. Fi was running a fever all day and they were still trying to find out what was causing her fever that caused the seizure (her brain can't handle the sudden spike in fever...so it's not about how high the fever is, it's about of fast it rises)...urine and blood were clear and she has no symptoms of a cold or virus. Aunt Angie came to visit and hang out with us and we also got a visit from my bff's mom, my other bff and Eoghan. Finally, the neurologist showed up, but was distracted by pages. Eventually, she was able to come in and explain things to me. Essentially, Fiona had a complex febrile seizure, in the "grand mal" category. Typically, a seizure lasts between 30 and 60 seconds. All of Fiona's have been 5 minutes or longer and at least 2 of the times have happened without her being actively sick. She will probably suffer from febrile or fever seizures until she outgrows them between 5 and 7 years old. We will be going home with a couple doses of "stop seizure medication" to keep us ready in the event that another one occurs. The odds of her having epilepsy are pretty small, but they are going to take her for an EEG in the morning to monitor her brain waves to see if there is anything "funny" that pops up. After that, if they still haven't found a reason for her fevers, they will probably cut off her cast to see if there is an infection on the skin underneath it.

Basically everything is a big ol' question mark right now, and I have a feeling they won't know why she has a fever all of a sudden. We are going on night 2 of our hospital stay while I am grateful for all of the fantastic care that has been given to our daughter and the amazing support our family and friends have shown us, I am ready to sleep in my own bed and pee in my own toilet. Fiona misses her brother and sister and wants to go home...someone tell her body to cut the crap so we can go home!!?? LOL. Will update again when we know more. Thanks again to everyone. You are appreciated beyond words.

To Whom It May Concern.

You suck. It would be one thing if you just sucked as a human being, but you also suck as a parent. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but at least I try. I wake up in the morning (even though I'd rather still be sleeping) with my children and put on my mommy britches and take care of business. This happens in the morning. Without my mother having to wake me up every single day. You on the other hand, cannot be bothered to even get your child up and off to school in the morning without your mother screaming and hollering at you to get out of bed and take care of business. You stay in bed until you are tired of being bitched at to get up. You don't take care of your child. Our parents are the ones who take care of her. THEY are more like her parents. They are more concerned about her well being. You only care about you. I love that little girl and I want more for her. Why do you think I take her whenever I can to go places and do things? Taking a child to the zoo twice a year is not enough...it doesn't make you world's best parent. You need to really spend time with them DAILY and not be so selfish. You should be taking care of your child instead of worrying about which "Boo" you're going to hook up with that night or where you're going to go out drinking. I'm all for having time away and time to yourself...but when "you" time is all the time and your child is abandoned by you, there is a problem. Technically, you are a "single mom", but really, no you're not. You have people there to take care of your shit for you every second of the day. As for my children "destroying your things", I'm sorry for the things that have been ruined. I am sorry that you can't be an adult and put your things away. When my children are over and their cousin wants to play in her room or something, naturally they want to play too. They are children...they get into things that are interesting to them. They want to pet the hamster. They also do what their cousin eggs them on to do. But when you are gone out and about and not being a responsible parent or sleeping in the bed that's a foot away from what is taking place at 1:00 in the afternoon, then you can't be pissed that things aren't being taken care of. When I'm making dinner for 10 people, I check on the kids, but I can't watch them all the time. I can't police everything...but at least I was there to take care of business. I'm sorry that my 2 year old ruined your origami box lid (but remember how you're obsessed and will spend hours at a time at it instead of with your child, I'm sure you can make another one). I'm sorry that the kids got into your fish food (yet another obsession for you to put in front of your child) and into your make up (all your daughter's doing), then maybe you should open your damn eyes and look right next to your bed. You lazy mother. Like I said, I'm not perfect, but I do try. I do what I can to make my children's lives better and teach them to be productive members of society. And seriously, you made me laugh...I need to teach my children respect?!?!? My children are good kids, and if they aren't using their manners, I take action. You do nothing but teach your child how to treat other people like garbage. She has attacked my children and others and her own grandmother!! It's not just her other aunt that is teaching her these horrific actions and trashy words, you are. You are supposed to want more for your child. You are raising her NOT to respect her elders or anyone else around her. Take responsibility as a parent. Show her how a real woman acts. Grow the fuck up and be an adult. Get a job instead of defrauding the government and pretend like you're trying to find a job. Learn what it's like to have to be self sufficient. Get out of your parent's house...you are sucking the life right out of them. They deserve more out of life than just picking up the pieces of your crap that you leave in your wake. I'm sick of seeing things going the way they are. I'm sick of watching you ruin lives around you without an ounce of remorse. Grow up.

Vay cay shun.

When I planned our vacation down to Florida, I honestly had no idea what I was getting us into. We left Monday night around 10:30 and drove through the night thinking that it would be great to drive wile the kids slept. O. M. G. BAD idea. Lily was up until 5:30 in the morning anyway and Jim and I were so exhausted we were going to kill someone. We stopped a billion times and around 1:30 on Tuesday, we stopped in Evansville, Indiana. Turns out that our GPS took us a horrible way down to Georgia. It truly was a crappy drive, and we couldn't drive anymore. Our pit stop in Georgia to visit my friend would have to wait...Jim and I were going to die if we didn't sleep. So we had Celia book us a hotel in Nashville and were asleep by 8:00. The next day we started out for our next 13 hour drive. Driving through Tennessee is amazing. Such a beautiful state!! We finally hit our destination at 11 at night. Shorts, flip flops, sleeping with the fan on, sun burn. This place is sweeeeet! Day 1 of the real part of vacation: We went to a play ground that had a sand volley ball court...the sand was this amazing white, powder like sand...I wish Minnesota had sand like that!! On the way back to the house, there was a wall that had little lizards all over it. So fun!! After that we went to Clearwater Beach, Florida to see the ocean. It did not disappoint. My first time seeing the ocean was awesome. There was more of that heavenly sand, hundreds of seagulls, pelicans, boats, a cool pier, sea shells galore, and of course, the powerful waves. After a few hours of shell hunting, playing in the water, flying kites and running away from the sea gulls that attacked Noah to steal his cheese puffs, Jim and I took the kids to the pier. It was so cool. There were stands set up along the whole thing selling their creations. We got the kids necklaces and took some pictures and by the time we were done, the sun was gone and it was time to go home. Denisa's mom had brought the kids doughnuts from Dunkin Donuts (Thank you Margareta and Tiberiu)so we got our first taste of those yummies and then we headed back to home base. I got FRIED by the sun. I can't believe it! The kids have been having a great time playing (and Fiona has tried on every pair of shoes in the house). Today it's raining so we're going to head back to Clearwater to the aquarium where the dolphin from "Dolphin Tale" is located. Lily is so excited, since she watched the movie just before we left for vacation. More to post later. :)

The calm before the storm.

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Have you ever just stopped and watched your children play and cried because you can't contain the emotions that you feel? I had a moment like that last night while watching the kids play at the Minnesota Children's Museum. and I couldn't believe how cute they were being, playing together and preparing a pretend meal for me in the restaurant. I couldn't stop the tears that ran down my face...and barely managed to avoid snotting all over the place. People were looking at me like "what's this lady's issue?", but I know that they would know the feeling if I explained my in public water works. Our night out at the museum was going so well...and we were so close to having a perfect evening...and then the fit hit the shan.
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Yep, Lily threw a fit because she couldn't sleep over at Grandma's house. It could have been worse, but it was still horribly embarrassing and ever so frustrating. She was whining and crying and begging and whining some more, with tears streaming down her face, smearing the face paint that she applied to her entire face and then wiping it onto the sleeves of her shirt. What a way to end a great night out. Now Mom's mad and you won't get ANYTHING you want. Way to go kid.

Now today it's like...everything is backwards. Eoghan has been such a well behaved kid and the other two are out of control! Lily demanded I make pizza for breakfast (um, I just opened my eyes...I don't think so) and was a brat when I said no. Fiona has discovered not only biting but that the word "NO" is amazing. Fiona, do you want water? "NO!" Do you want an orange? "NO!" Well what do you want? "NO!" Stop saying 'no'. "NO!" omg...She has also taken to throwing herself on the floor, screaming, crying and slapping the floor. I need some baby sedatives (Kidding!!-mostly-)

I remember the days when I wasn't losing my mind. Really, I do. It wasn't until about 4 years ago that I snapped. Maybe it's more like...I stopped pretending that I wasn't nuts before. Having one child is hard, having 2 is a little harder...and having 3...oh man. Let's just say I don't know how people have any more than 3 and aren't in the looney bin. Some days I almost feel like checking myself in just to get a break from the madness that is being a SAHM. I won't sugar coat it and pretend that it's easy peasy. It's not always a pain in the ass...but who wants to read a blog about a lady who goes on and on about how perfect her kids are and how clean her house is. Real life is much more entertaining, donchya think?

I guess I just can't wait until the kids are teenagers and sleep all day long...I will be right along with them snoring away the hours. Maybe once I catch up on all the sleep I've needed but haven't had, I'll be sane??? Here's to hoping. :)

I am what I am and I ain't nothin' more.

I will not apologize for being who I am. I will not change because I'm not what you or others want out of me. I will not be a chameleon and be a different person around different people. What you see is what you get...good and bad, it's all there is...it's who I am.

I am loud when I drink, quiet when I am upset. Sometimes I laugh too hard at things that aren't funny. I tend to have a politically incorrect sense of humor. I say things that are inappropriate. I go to bed early on the weekends. I believe in ghosts and get scared shitless when I watch scary movies. I have children that come first in my life. I have a husband that I love uber mucho, so I will cook him eggs and bacon when I made a dinner I know he won't like. I bitch about things when I get mad. I bitch about how much being a SAHM can suck sometimes because my kids make me mad sometimes.I have kitchen envy. I am not perfect, but to myself, I am good enough. I have issues. Sometimes, I need help. I keep my emotions bottled up and bite my tongue when I think things that might hurt someone's feelings...but when I feel attacked, I dish it back. I will not back down if you disagree with my opinion. I appreciate gender roles. I am fat. I wear low cut shirts that show off my cleavage. Sometimes I will ignore my children and read a book for an hour while they watch tv. I hate all things 80's and wish I looked like a hot vintage 50's mommy. I hate cleaning and my house is a mess. When I get sick, I whine a lot.




Don't cut me down or try to make me feel stupid. If you don't like me, the things I believe in, the things I stand for or the way I live my life, I have one thing to say to you. "TOO FUCKING BAD!!" If you don't like it, leave. If you don't respect me, don't bother me with your bologna...leave me alone. I will not bend to make you happy. If you choose not to accept me for who I am, then don't let the middle finger poke you in the eye on your way out.

Addicted to Altering.

Earlier this week I got my lip pierced at Rose of No Man's Land tattoo and piercing parlor. I am back to being addicted to altering my body. I've got 4 tattoos and have had a few different piercings over the years. After I got my lip done, I felt like everyone was staring at me. I know it's mostly in my head...but when I look in the mirror, I look off to myself. I've wanted to get it done for years and now that I have, I regret it? Maybe I don't...I don't know. I'm hoping that once it's healed enough to put in a stud I'll like the look more. I guess this is the "adult" part of me thinking maybe I'm too old to do this sorta thing to my body. Maybe I outgrew the piercing part of life.
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I have not, however, grown out of the tattoo phase. That is one that I don't think I will outgrow, at least not any time soon. I have so many tats that I want to get...now I only need to find the money to do it. I also need to find a good artist that can help me put some of my ideas to paper. I have some fantastic images in my head that I can't seem to verbalize properly. It's so frustrating. I am planning to (hoping to I should say) get a tat while I'm down in Florida. After my last tattoo experience where the shop was no longer in business when I went to go back for a touch up on my horseshoe, I am kind wary though. I am still itching for it though. Tattoos and child birth are the most beautiful pain lol.

My cousins posted this video recently called "Shit People Say to Tattooed People" and the "Tattoo Locations" picture...both made me giggle. I have a teal,purple/orange (it's in between both spots lol), red and pink. The calves are not covered..but I will have some there eventually too. Thank you picture for summing up "who I am".

Jim+Jen=Love

The other night Jim asked me what makes a happy marriage and why we have a such a good one. Aside from the fact that I think we're soul mates, we're lucky. Lucky that we found people so perfect for us (well, aside from the whole "he wants a clean house and I hate to clean" thing, but still...). Maybe it's mean, but when I see people who have an obviously not so great relationship, I can't help but think of how grateful I am to have Jim. He's my best friend as well as my husband. We've been together for almost 9 years and we're still going strong. We haven't lost that spark. He puts up with a lot of crap from me (and Bob knows I put up with tons from him :KIDDING:) and he still loves me. He loves me even though I'm fat. He watches girly movies with me. He rubs my feet just because. He lets me sleep in. I gives me anything I ask for and more. He flatters me constantly. He treats me with respect. He makes me laugh. He listens to me whine. He plays "Boggle" with me even though he hates it. He is everything I could ever want. Did I mention that he's gorgeous and smart and funny and witty and wonderful? I think it's so easy for people to forget why they fell in love with their partners. Why not take a step back and write a list of all the reasons you love them. And if you truly aren't happy, you can change it. Everyone deserves to be happy and loved for who they are.



Jimmy, I love you so much. Thanks for being you.

Finding Me-mo.

When I started having babies, I was 19. I can almost remember what it was like to have just one child...I remember the day I went home from the hospital with Lily. Within an hour, I called Jim crying and begging him to come home. Then my mom came over and helped me out and I was able to survive the dreaded first day (thanks again mom, I will never forget that day...and I still have the night gown you brought me!!). 18 months later, Eoghan was born. It was easier than I thought it would be (stop laughing, it was!!). For years I barely spent any time away from my children and chose for it to be that way. Now, it's been 6 years since I started having children and I had 3 of them in 4 years (I keep thinking "that can't be right, that's just insane!!" but it is indeed correct). Fiona is now 2 years old and a little human that doesn't need me the way she did a year ago.

So now I no longer have to focus so hard on my children. Of course I am always Mom (and a damn fine one at that-just toot my own horn-toot, toot), but none of them are nursing, they eat real food and can communicate what they want/need. Now at 26, I get to focus a little more on myself and my identity outside of motherhood. Who do I want to be? How do you be more than just one person? I'm having a hard time separating everything from the children. It's like on TV, when the parents go out for date night and end up talking about the kids the entire time and mom sneaks off to call the sitter, then dad sneaks off to call the sitter and they leave early to go home to be with the little ones. I want to be able to go out and not talk about the kids. I want to do something adult oriented. See a movie that isn't G rated. Go to a museum that doesn't have a slide in every room. Get dressed up for something other than a wedding or funeral. Have something on the calendar that isn't for Lily, Eoghan or Fiona.

I would like to invest more time into my relationship with my husband. We've got a great marriage (at least I think so) and I'm beyond happy, but I want more "us" time. Time to be really together and not in Mommy/Daddy mode.

I can't wait for 2 years from now when Fiona starts school and all 3 of them are gone during the day. I am already thinking of all the things I will do with my time. I've decided that the very first day, I will get them out the door then go back to bed until it's time for them to come home. Mmmm...that sounds awesome. Maybe I'll go to school. Maybe I'll get a job. Maybe I'll have a clean house!! Maybe, I'll be lonely. I'm excited to find out just what I will be..WHO I will be. I'll be able to go grocery shopping in the day time by myself...oh man...I am giddy with anticipation lol.

Idiot drivers.

While driving home today, I encountered a moron that apparently missed "blinker" day in driver's ed. It made me think of all the eff tards that are out there can't drive for crap. It's funny, because you can tell if a person is a bad driver by how they push their cart in the grocery store. Seriously, grocery shopping is kinda like driving...I always stop at the end of an aisle and inch my way around the corner because I don't want to cut anyone off. Those exiting a lane have to yield...you do NOT have the right of way. I understand road (and shopping) rage...thankfully I am able to control my homicidal urges on the road better than some *coughmyhusbandcough*...but the day is coming that surely, I will snap and crash into someone that deserves it.



That brings me to my list of "Come On People!!":

*STOP at STOP SIGNS!!! Stop BEFORE the sign...or at the very least stop with the front of your car lined up to the stop sign. Don't stop after the stop sign...it kinda defeats the freaking purpose. People that are actually paying attention see you stopping at the corner, not the stop sign and it scares them (okay, this "them" is really ME) because it doesn't look like you are going to stop at all.

*If the yield sign is facing you, that means that YOU have to yield. Yield means that you have to STOP and WAIT for me to go first because I have the right of way.

*Get off your f*&king phone! Texting while driving is against the law and a very stupid idea. The problem is, you won't kill yourself, you'll kill me or my children, because that is the weird way of the universe. If you are driving like an idiot and I notice that you are talking on the phone and I drive past you yelling at you to "GET OFF YOUR F*&ING PHONE", you are not able to multitask in this way. Hang up and drive.

*Get off of my ass. I'm not one of those people that drives under the speed limit...in fact I usually go 5 miles faster than the speed limit (shh, don't tell my insurance company or the police), so I do not feel bad when you are an idiot going 20 over the limit and don't know how to go the flip around me. This especially pisses me off when there isn't anybody else in the lane next to me. I was here first, YOU switch lanes butthole!!

*USE YOUR BLINKER!! You know, that signal, that signals to me that you are going to turn or get over? Yeah, well, it's not for you...it's for other drivers. When you use that little blinky yellow light, I know that you want to move from your current position on the road and I will either speed up or slow down to allow for that to happen...don't just get that dirty ass look on your face like "Why won't you let me over?!??!?" You're a moron and I hate you...use your blinker.

*Turn down your thumping music. It's so damn annoying when I can feel YOUR bass in MY car. Turn it down and enjoy your music...

*Buckle your children into car seats if they are under the age and size requirements of the law. I call the police on people that do not have their children properly restrained. Too many times I have actually seen people holding infants in their arms while driving. Your children deserve to live...your stupidity and/or laziness should not threaten their lives. And if it's a matter of cost, contact the state. There are programs that will help you get car seats at no cost to you.

If you fail to do these things, I will flip you the bird and/or mutter obscenities and threats at you. Try not to piss me off. :)

Eff you and eff her too.

Ever wish that you could change stuff about yourself and realize that it's just too hard to do? Kinda makes me wanna poke the ambitious "I changed my life" people in the eye. I guess my main problem is my lack of motivation lol. I keep trying to fix that, but as of yet, it hasn't worked. And that is where it all falls apart. It's so much easier not to change anything and keep living the way you're used to. I guess that's where self esteem and all that jazz comes into play. Even when I think of all the crap about myself I'd like to change, I have to admit that I think I'm pretty much the bees knees.


Sometimes I say things that are totally inappropriate, mildly offensive or blatantly "just wrong"...but usually when I say these things, it is to entertain and make someone laugh. I have to say that 98% of the time, it works famously. My sincere apologies to the other 2%...my bad.

I'm fat. I eat too much, exercise too little and wear clothes that are too snug. Here's the thing though...the hubby loves the bod, so I gotta keep him happy. I give the "not really fat, fat girls" their "it could be worse" fix.


My house is a mess and I hate to clean. THIS just gives all of the rude people I know something to tell everyone else about me. I've heard "wow, your house is a mess" more times than I can remember. Well there are two things you can do: clean it or leave. :)

I'm too passive. BUT I keep the peace because instead of telling you how much I want to punch you in the face, I'll just bite my tongue and smile.

In conclusion, I may fail a little bit, but in the end, I'm a big old bowl of "I don't care, I'm still freaking awesome." Don't like it? Don't care. :)

It's so hard to say "Goodbye".

We are in the midst of my mother in law's passing. Shawnee (my MIL) has been ill for quite some time now, and the time has come for her to move on. Her sisters and all of her children are by her side to make the transition easier. Many friends have come to give their love and say goodbye. She touched the lives of many people and she will be dearly missed. She's always been so kooky and crazy and entertaining and even on her death bed she's making people laugh. I hope she knows how many people love her...and I hope they know how much she loves them. She will never be forgotten and people will tell the stories of her for many years to come. I love you so much Shawnee, we'll see you again someday. *hugs*

Rest in Peace, Shawnee OcConnor McGovern 7/10/47 - 1/1/2012. I know you're running laps up there in Heaven.

Medicated.

As most know, we've been dealing with some intense eye issues with Fiona for the past 2 weeks or so. Started out that the docs said it's migraines and after a trip to the ER, some tylenol 3 and a "Maybe go see an eye dog? *shrug*" and we were sent on our way. After a few days of constant meds and ZERO improvement and her left eye swelling up something awful, I brought her back to the ER. This time, I was not leaving without some answers. So, we waited a couple hours to be seen and the first thing the doc says is "well, with migraines in children..." Stop right there. Wrong answer. Try another idea. She went to get her boss and they put some funky glow under black light eye drops into her eyes and checked them out with a blacklightoscope (like that?). They drew a pic of "her eye", showing the spot that they were seeing on it. Turns out it's a similar injury to what they see in welders...then asked "did she get metal in her eye?" Um, really? Like that wouldn't be my opening line 'so she got metal shrapnel in her eye...' So new diagnosis, injury to eye that isn't healing. Put some goopy meds into her eye 3 times a day for 7 days, go to the eye doc and *fingers crossed* :voila:? We'll see how tomorrow goes.

Eoghan had his psychiatrist appointment today. In case I haven't mentioned it before, I really don't like this guy. He's such a jerk and so impersonal. After an awkward conversation of "well, his school said he's not that bad there...but if you really can't handle it...we can medicate. I'm just worried you'll be let down if it doesn't help". I wanted to slap the man. I swear it's not just me. I'm not the only person that has seen Eoghan get out of control. I need a new doc. So if anyone knows a good child psychiatrist, in the area, let me know! That being said, Eoghan was prescribed a medication..I've never heard of it before (starts with a T), and I'm hoping it will help. Update in a few weeks when we go back to see the jerky shrink.

I recently started on a new antidepressant, Fluoxetine (generic Prozac) and while it hasn't helped 100% with the depression/anxiety issues, it's helped with my hunger! The stuff is awesome. Apparently the average fatty loses about 7.4 pounds with it. Snap! lol. I'm ready to get my head back together though, and stop the severe mood swings.

Anyway...that's all I can think of for now. Thinking some Sudafed for my stupid sinuses is in order (just to keep with the theme of the post, I figured I'd share lol). Chow homies.

Sweet addiction.

*wave* Hi, I'm Jen and I'm addicted to Junk FM. No, seriously. The boys of Junk FM (Mo, Tyler, George and Chris) make up the BEST cover band I have ever seen. They play a little bit of everything (Gaga, Outkast, Cheap Trick, Michael Jackson, John Michael Montgomery, David Lee Murphy and much, much more), they play it well and they have fun doing it. It doesn't hurt that they're super sweet and pretty cute (shh, don't tell my husband I said that). My only problem is that when I go to see them, I end up spending too much money, getting too drunk and dancing too foolishly (no, seriously, it's bad lol). My nights out are reserved solely for going to see this band...I'm sure everyone I've met has heard me rave about them. I even had a t-shirt made to show my support!! Anywho, if you're looking for an unforgettable night out, you must check them out Tell them I sent you...maybe if I recruit enough followers, they'll learn a Montgomery Gentry song for me. (Last night they did a quick learn of Keith Urban, and it was AWWWWWESOME! :D Thanks again boys for a fun evening...I look forward to my next hangover. Much love, the not creepy stalker fan.

I Heart ECFE.

We've been in ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education) classes for about 4 years now. The site we attend is amazing and the staff is beyond phenomenal. The concept is pretty awesome. You set aside 2 hours a week and go play with your child for a half hour, one on one (no dishes, no laundry, no tv to distract). Then you separate and the parents go to the parent room for an hour, have a snack, talk about things they need advice on, discuss the pre selected topic of the day and most importantly, laugh with these other parents that you have been thrown together into a group with. After that you go for circle time and sing songs with your child(ren) and enjoy musical entertainment. It truly is a wonderful 2 hour period that I (and the kids) look forward to every week.

It's always so interesting to me, how 7-12 random people who, without ECFE to bring them together, would probably not know one another, get so close to one another. I have met some great people over my years in the program and I have friends from just about each group to this day. It's so relieving to know that you really aren't the only one going through something as a parent..or even as a a person. People from all walks of life that you may not even realize have problems.

This particular group that I am in right now have been...well, words just can't describe how much these women (and occasional Daddy) mean to me...I've recruited them as my therapists and they have stepped up to the plate without complaint. They have been there for me and my family more than I could ask for. They have shown me that there are angels in the world. Even now, as I am writing this, I am willing the tears not to spill. Thank you, Monroe ECFE Thursday morning class for going above and beyond for me. Thank you for making my Thursday mornings...you are some funny people and I am so glad that I have met you. Know that you are appreciated.

That being said, anybody with children birth to 5 years old should really get into ECFE... your children will thank you. Enrich your child's (and your own) lives...
AND!! If you are already in or have been in ECFE and love the program, please, send a holiday card or even just a letter to let the St. Paul school board and Superintendent know how important they are to you!!!

Send a card to "Superintendent Valeria" and as many school board members as you can
*John Brodrick *Kazoua Kong-Thao *Anne Carroll *Mary Doran *Jean O'Connell
*Louise Seeba *Keith Hardy *Elona Street-Stewart

All mail should be sent to the main office:
Saint Paul Public Schools-#625
360 Colborne Street
Saint Paul, MN 55102


Thank you for your support!!!

About a year ago Eoghan was "diagnosed" with Motor Sensory Integration Disorder (http://www.sinetwork.org/about-sensory-processing-disorder.html). Since then, I've been struggling to get help with it. We saw one psychiatrist that was a moron and referred me to another doctor through United (because he thought it was a classic case of ADD/ADHD and since Eoghan was only 4 at the time he couldn't be legally diagnosed by him), but that doc wasn't accepting new patients. Hello brick wall. Somehow, I got in touch with the Wilder Foundation and meet a couple of great women who helped me get pointed in the right direction. It always helps to have somebody listen to you and understand what you're going through. They got me set up with occupational therapy to see if that would help (not really, at least not in the ways we wanted it to). We finally got an appointment with the psychiatrist at Wilder, and of course on the day of our appointment Eoghan was very ill (was in the ER the day before) and was breaking out with a rash over his entire body as we watched him. The doc said "I don't see anything extraordinary going on." I wanted to cry...I felt like the guy didn't even want to hear about what I had been going through and that just because Eoghan didn't exhibit any signs to him I was being brushed off. He told me to come back when he started school in the fall. Well, a couple months ago, we got back in with the guy (who is a complete antisocial person...fitting for a person that deals with people for a living eh?) and at that appointment, I left more confused than when I went in. He sent me home with a webmd printout of a medication that we MIGHT CONSIDER getting Eoghan on and some forms for his teacher to fill out. This afternoon I received a phone call from his nurse that they received the paperwork and that we should get back in with the doc and see about medication. (I know there are people that are not fans of medicating children. I appreciate your stance, but I am not open to argument :D) I almost cried with joy. FINALLY, after many months of tears, fighting, anger and confusion, I am getting somewhere. Next week we have an appointment scheduled and we will likely be prescribed medication. I am hoping that in a month or so I will be able to update that things have dramatically improved around here. **fingers crossed**

Reality.

Growing up boys and girls are taught such horribly unrealistic expectations of how women should be. Every tv show or movie I've ever seen the women are "perfect". It's not fair that they're setting us all up for disappointment when we're older! They only eat a little bit, they don't fart, pretty sure they don't poop for that matter, they go to sleep and don't snore and they wake up looking like a million bucks. Well, thankfully I've got a wonderful husband that doesn't subscribe to that bologna. When we first started dating and living together, I was stuck somewhere between "I know tv is full of crap, I'm a real girl" and "omg, don't let him see that I'm real". Now, 8 years later, I get to laugh at all that false advertisement for women.

Boys (and girls), let me tell you how it is. Women eat...and some of us eat a lot (btw, it's okay to like big girls...more cushion for the pushin' and all that jazz lol, but that's a blog for another day) and we don't eat just salads...get us ice cream for dessert dammit! After we eat all that delicious food, we're going to have to poop...and some of us like to read while we do that, so it could be a while :D. Along those lines, we fart too...and not every time the dog or kids fart is it actually the dog or kids...have fun trying to figure out which is which. When I go to sleep, I REALLY sleep...that means I toss and turn, sometimes I talk, yell or sing, and I always snore. No really, I snore like a dude. Sorry, it's genetic, blame my parents...and those stupid snore strips so don't work. When we wake up, we don't look like we just got done with a photo shoot complete with lip gloss and fresh curls in our hair. Ever hear the term "rat's nest" yeah, that's what hair tends to look like...it's like those "frizzy hair" Garnier Fructis commercials. Sometimes we look like a raccoon because our mascara has smudged underneath our eyes. That smudge of white crust on my chin? Oh yeah...we drool too. We steal your razor to shave our legs...when we decide to shave our legs. Even the skinniest girl has cellulite and stretch marks. Our boobs are real (unless they aren't which is a different story) and they sag a little (if yours don't, I don't care, just nod and agree with me!). And we sweat...some of us more than others...some of us sweat just walking around the mall...again, not one of those things we can control (I have considered getting Botox injections into my armpits lol).

All of that being said, we're all goddesses in our own right(and you need to tell us every chance you get how beautiful we are). We'll scratch your back, make you dinner, wash your clothes, listen to you rant about your fantasy football team and love you.

To my hubby: thanks for accepting my fat, farting, snoring, Lifetime movie watching, losing my mind, not cleaning the house ass. I love you long time. <3

Lost and Found Again.

Every year or so apparently, I decide I want to start a blog. I then rediscover this blog. Always fun to go through and relive memories and look back on where I was then. Funny how a year can seem like such a long time... Anywho, I've decided the world needs to have my thoughts and opinions forced upon it. I have so many of them y'know. Be afraid...be very afraid. First real post tomorrow. Oh snap!

Family Time.

Sometimes it feels like we don't have any family time anymore. We only get 1 day off a week now, and Lily's in school for most of the day. Today, Lily is off of school, so we are going to enjoy the heck out of our day. At least I am. We're going to go to the pumpkin patch today and get our pumpkins...that means we get to spend an hour petting the animals!! After that, my friend offered to come watch the kids for a while so Jim and I can go out and enjoy some alone time. HOLY COW! I have some awesome friends!

Tomorrow is Fiona's birthday! I can't believe she's going to be 1 already! It feels like just yesterday that I was a huge preggo face. It's so awesome to watch her growing. She's been taking steps all over the place...but when she sees someone watching her, she sits down. Stinker. She LOVES talking on the phone...well, she loves texting on the phone I should say. She cuddles with an old cell when she goes to bed at night.

We had Lily's conferences yesterday. It went surprisingly well. Lily tested out in the 10th percentile in Math and the 11th for reading, but the teacher said she is definitely higher in the reading than the test shows. So that's good news! I made some goals with the teacher to get Lily going a little farther. We want to have Lily able to count and write her numbers up to 100 by the end of the year, and have her able to sound out words when she writes. I think that these are achievable goals! I told Lily when I got home that I saw a picture of her friend Ben...the one she told Jim she was going to marry...and she said "Isn't he handsome?!?" Oh lordy...I am in trouble! Hahaha!

Eoghan is a video game genius. It's amazing what he can do with a game. He's playing "Crash Bandicoot" and kicking butt! In 2 weeks, he turns 4!! It seems like this year took forever for him. He's so tall and well spoken for his age, that we often forget that he's only 3. I'm very excited for him. Now we only have to wait until next Fall for him to go to pre-k. He's so ready for it now...it sucks that his birthday comes after the cut off. :(

Anyway, time to get outside and do some yardwork with the fam.

Turn around time?

Life is such a roller coaster of ups and downs...and of course it seems like the bad times are around far longer. For the past 2 years, roughly, our "bad time" has only gone from less crappy to more crappy. Today we got some fantastic news that a computer problem in our car is going to be fixed for free due to a recall on that part. It was going to cost almost a grand to fix it ourselves...so we never did. Yaaaaaaaaaaay! ::happy dance:: I'm hoping that this is where the universe decides to stop crapping on us and be nice for a while. *knock on wood* By the way universe, I could totally go for a mini van...just saying! :) I'm not going to get my hopes up for anything, but I am certainly going to keep my fingers crossed.